In your eyes

Our eyes reflect a lot of our life. It says a lot about us.

I used to eat a lot of candies in my twenties. And once, someone told me we could see I eat too much sugar just by looking into my eyes. Three years later, I stopped eating candies so much, and that person told me again he could see I cut the sugar in my diet.

Sadness, loss, despair, happiness, innocence,… also show in our eyes. When we are young, we don’t have that look which reflects the thunders of our life. This is why youth is so attractive.

Recently, I went to a seminar with one of my coworkers, who’s ten years younger than me. She was constantly surrounded by fund managers. While I was chatting with the PR, I could see she was laughing to their jokes. She has that look in her eyes that shows happiness, lightness and a bit of naivety. I later understood, when I saw a recent picture of me, that my eyes were filled with sadness, as if they were blackened by the darkness of my existence.

When we lose someone who is very close to our heart, or endure a very though experience in our  life, our eyes reflect first the effects of these ordeals. They don’t lie.

When we’re happy, our eyes smile with the rest of our face. People who are angry, desperate, sad, will try to hide their feelings and smile anyway. But we can always notice a mismatch between the smile and the eyes that don’t smile.

The look in our eyes can be affected by our feelings, but also by the lack of it, thanks to chemicals. But usually, the damage done by food compensating and drugs also reflect in the rest of our body. Our face changes, our body too and gets heavier. Our eyes are just filled with a grey veil. This is why it’s not attractive.

Unfortunately, women are not equal with men when it comes to this. A woman with a sad look and a devastated body will never attract a man, while for a man, he can always, with his personality, seduce even the prettiest woman.

We’re like crystal

… We break easy.

We can fall in love many times in our life. And we can also get our heart broken many times. Love can happen very quickly, when we expect it the least. And because love is quick to happen, it is also very fragile.

Once, I had a conversation with one of my high school friends about the couples we know who got together in high school. He said that we already know at that age if we’re with the right person or not. “Everything is pretty much set at that age” he said.

High school is probably the place where we fall in love easily and just like that, it’s over and we’re on to the next. At that age, it’s much more simple than later. Every one is single or wants to be single and there’s plenty of choice. Later, it gets a little more complicated. So, how could we know then we’re with the right person?

Back then, I was in love with one of my classmates. But I didn’t think at the time he would be the man of my life. And the truth is now, I don’t love him anymore. We changed, and we grew up. I didn’t think I could spend the rest of my life with him. This is not obvious at all.

Some say that if we think we can spend the rest of our life with the person we love, then, we know we have found the right one. But this means that we should know what kind of life we want to have in the future. In these uncertain times, it’s a difficult question to answer. But we may have an idea, though.

When I was in high school, I already knew I wanted to be a journalist. I also knew that I would never accept to be a housewife, depending only on my husband’ s financial means. I didn’t know if I wanted to get married someday, unlike some of my female classmates.

I guess it depends on what’s important to us. A friend of mine knew her man was the one when she had to spend two weeks in hospital because of a severe illness. “He was there every day and brought me a lot of books, chocolate, cupcakes,… everything I like. None of my previous boyfriends would have cared so much. I just knew I found the right guy” she said.

I guess it also depends on our ability to create an emotional bond with the one we love.

Holding your hand

Whoever who ever loved someone knows about this better than anyone else: holding a hand, is giving everything, all at once, without any caution, contract, nothing. Holding a hand, every child knows about it, is not only holding on to someone temporarily: holding your hand, it’s being attached to you,  it’s inheriting from you. The more I  squeeze, the more I intertwine our fingers, the more I tell you my immeasurable need, a need such as your palm is giving me informations about you. On your palm, I could read that you were someone good.

Gilles  Leroy, in  “Dormir avec ceux qu’on aime”

To hold someone else’s hand is to show them your affection, your protection. It is considered as a romantic gesture when we hold the hand of our significant other. For some people, this is the ultimate act of  intimacy. It is also the most socially accepted public display of affection, because it’s more subtle than a kiss.

But it has a different meaning if you hold someone else’s hand in public than in dark rooms, where nobody can see you. In public, it means that you’re off the market. In private, it just shows how much you care about the other. It also indicates you don’t want to disclose your relationship to the public. If it’s the first time you hold your significant other’s hand, it just means you tried to approach him/her. This is just a maneuver to get closer to the person you long for.

To hold someone else’s hand is also a voluntarily act. It’s not an innocent gesture. We don’t hold everybody’s hand for no reason. We can hold the hand of the people next to us because we’re asked to do so, for a game  for example. In some cultures, to hold someone’s else is to show him you’re backing him.

More than words, to hold someone’s hand shows how much you care for them. So, when you don’t know if he really cares for you, this could be a great signal.