Leaving your country

When I was in the Holy city of Pushkar, in India, my guide told me six French women lived in here. They married local guys. I didn’t ask if he knows them, because I didn’t have enough time. Otherwise, I would have liked to know their reason to leave their country and come living in a place where animal protein is prohibited and where there’s not much activity apart from the hippie community coming here from time to time.

My driver told me a lot of European people come here every year and spend one whole week. Ashrams can be seen everywhere, and I can understand the purpose of their visit. Maybe these women used to come here often before they chose to marry an Indian.

Yet, leaving your life behind to start a new one is a very tough experience. It also depends on how you get there. One of my friends met her husband in Russia where she moved in. She took the decision to leave her life behind and start a new one in this country, where she didn’t know anyone. It was her decision, only motivated by her personal reasons. Her husband came in the picture one year after she moved in Moscow. So, we can say that her husband was only a further step into her new life abroad.

Another friend of mine moved to New York because of a job opportunity. But there, she found some old friends she lost out of sight, and was quickly surrounded by a group of  mates. She also found love there. And is about to get married. She has no plan to come back to my country.

This is different if you choose to leave your country because of someone you love. You can face a lot of delusions here. Because not only you will be far from the ones you love, but you will have also to adapt and build a new life. When you start from scratch, this is not easy at all. You also become dependent on the one you love. And the heart break can be nasty if the one you love decide to call it quits.

Y., 34, left her family and friends to live in Turkey with a man she met there during her travel. She got married, but got quickly disappointed. Her husband and she planned to open an hotel together, but their plan turned into a disaster. She got into a lot of debts, and she got home sick. After three years, she decided to go home and asked for a divorce. But divorcing isn’t easy as in Europe in Turkey. And she’s still battling with her ex to get her money back and the papers for her divorce.

The inverted situation isn’t necessarily a better solution. R., 40, married a guy she met in Bali. Once they came back to her home country, her husband didn’t help her at all. He spent all his day watching TV and drinking beer. She divorced him two years later.

The best solution is probably to have a good project on your own before considering getting into a serious relationship with someone in your new country.