Tim Harford, an economist and writer for the Financial Times, wrote an article about online dating, and how disappointing it is for people who meet online. “These services prosper if they keep us coming back for more“, he said.
Yet, I’ve been to a wedding recently where the bride and groom met online three years ago. The bride is a friend of mine. She told me she searched for him with a list of do and don’t. Their first date was a bit strange, because as my friend hates silence, she kept on talking, while her husband was so shy he had a hard time speaking. But he asked her after the date if she would accept another date with him. And my friend said yes. There were up and downs in their relationship, to a point where she gave him an ultimatum: either he would commit to her, or their relationship would end. I rushed back to her side when she told me he disappeared after her ultimatum. But three days after, he came back and accepted to commit to her. The rest is history.
Online dating can be disappointing. Because when we meet the person we met online, reality can be really different from what you saw online. You don’t hear his/her voice online, and the pictures posted online may not be very recent. Yet, my friend did find her husband online and his pictures were very recent. My friend didn’t post any of her pictures, as she didn’t want to be recognized. So her husband took a big risk by meeting her, because he didn’t know what she was looking at that time.
The only lesson with online dating is to have a date with your online crush and then think if it’s worth or not to pursue a relationship with him/her, based on your feelings.
I’ve met three men on Tinder who asked me for a date. I have accepted all three. I don’t expect something special from two of them, while I have some great expectations for one. Maybe I would be disappointed by him, and positively surprised by one of the two I don’t expect much. I don’t know how it will evolve. I just know I will go to great bars and restaurants with all of them. That’s a good start.
I chose them all and contacted them. They all liked me on Tinder. It has to start somewhere…