life, love, reflexion, relationships

Keeping the flame of love

How do we keep burning the flame of love ? That’s a difficult question.  Love is such a delicate thing, it can fade away as quick as it comes.  A famous french author said that love only lasts three years.  Well, I don’t agree with him, since I’ve been in love with the same man since the last eight years.  But, of course, I recognize that if we do nothing in a relationship to really make it work, love can only last three years, or even less.

Some couples need constant proofs of their love for each other, but for me, it’s not sufficient. You can prove your love to your companion in many ways, but if you don’t share a common project with him, chances are your union can turn sour. 

A common project ?  Yep, everything you want. It can be  kids,  a travel together, a dog or any other domestic animal, the same passion for food and cooking,… But you have to both want it.  It’s not because you have kids with a man that your union will last. Look at the numerous couples with kids that divorced.  Sometimes, the woman want a child while her husband isn’t keen about it, and she gets pregnant without his knowledge.  Or, the woman becomes pregnant although she didn’t want it, and finally decided to keep the baby.

But again, it cannot be sufficient by itself. Each couple has his own secrets to make thing last.  It depends a lot on our character. When you’re a fierce independant and better off alone, being in a long term relationship can be heavy.  On the contrary, some couples  in a long term relationship can’t live without each other.  I know a couple who lasted 72 years. When the man died, her widow passed away only six months later.