We all lie, that’s a fact. If we always tell the truth, we won’t have any friends. Because we live in a social environment, we all have to lie to each other. I’m not talking here about the biggest lies you can tell to someone, like for example swearing you didn’t cheat on your partner after an infidelity. But I’d like to say a few words about the little lies we use to prevent or neutralize a crisis with our partner.
There are many subjects of dispute between a man and a woman, and sometimes, we just want to avoid the fight because it’s not worth it. How do we manage to avoid this ? By simply lying. Here’s some situations.
- The clothes.Many women I know (in fact, all of them) like to spend their money on clothes and accessories. The problem is that men usually don’t understand our need to buy new clothes, or a new pair of shoes, or a new handbag despite the fact that our closet is already full of those little things. So, usually, when a woman goes back from shopping with bags full of new clothes and cie, she always gets this kind of remark: “ Why did you buy another pair of black shoes ? You ‘ve already had five pairs of these” (N.B.: this works also for a bag, a sweater, a tee-shirt,…). Generally, the male who pronounces these sentences is a bit pissed off. And generally, the woman has no other choice but to lie to him to avoid a fight. S. uses various excuses for her man. She tells him she received this pair of shoes/ bag/ sweater/ skirt/… from her sister/mother because she just cleaned her closet and gave her the clothes she didn’t wear anymore. S. also tells her man she’s had this piece of clothes for already three months but didn’t wear it until now. She also says there were a huge sale and she bought this for nothing.
- The car. Many women are terrible drivers ( many men are too) and when they use their husband’ s car, sometimes, they have a little problem with it. Like for example going backwards into another car in a parking lot. One of my friend explained that her wife cannot drive and go back without any bump on his car. But she always has an excuse for it. She once said to him that a kid rode too near from his car with his bicycle. And also that an old lady bumped into his car with her trolley.
- The in-laws. Sometimes, you don’t want to see them, but you have to. So, you pretend you’re sick and you cannot go with your partner and see them.
These lies serve as an excuse to avoid a fight with your partner. There are also lies you used to avoid hurting your partner. For example, if he’s getting old and asks you about it, would you tell him the truth, or rather lie about it?
But when is it OK to lie ? And when it is not ? If you have to lie to your partner to do something like visiting your friend and family, because if you tell him the truth, he won’t let you go, then there’s a problem.