Among the little things that can poison a relationship, there’s jealousy. When you or your partner are too jealous, it becomes difficult to handle. We all have or know people in our entourage who are stuck in a relationship like that.
First, let’s look at how jealousy shows. A friend of mine explained he had to dump her lady because she was constantly spying him, reading his e-mails, listening to his conversation on the phone,…. She would make a scene everytime he just looked at other women in a non concuspicious way. A, 32, can’t go anywhere without her man because he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want A. to speak to other men. He doesn’t want A. to wear mini-skirts, big cleavage and other “provoking ” clothes.
Why do we act like that? Because we’re afraid to lose our partner. But I’ve noticed that some people who are afraid to lose their partner don’t necessarily accept to receive the same treatment for her partner. T, 29, told me that her man doesn’t appreciate when she sees her male friends, but when she complained about him watching other ladies all the time ( and not just the white in their eyes…) , he gets mad.
One of my friend explained that when she falls in love, she’s jealous of the other girls. But when she ‘s into a serious relationship with the guy, her jealousy just fades away. Because she have learned to trust her partner. She’s right: if we trust our partner, and if he/ she trusts us, we don’t have to be jealous. Of course, if a woman starts to turn around your man, you can intervene and tell her to go away. Personally, I appreciate when my man intervenes to tell the guy who’s turning around me to find another prey, or when he’s a little worried if I speak to a very handsome man. It prouves that he cares for me.
We won’t appreciate if our partner couldn’ t care less about us and show not an ounce of jealousy, don’t we?
Second, let’s see if it’s possible to heal from jealousy. E., 31, explained that she had a problem trusting her man. He realized it and let her read all his mail, listen to all his messages, search in his agenda,… until she discovered he had nothing to hide from her. Since then, she trusts her man eyes wide shut. F., 28, explained she started imitating her man. If he spends hours at the gym surrounded by women, she would do the same, in a gym full of men. If he sees his best friend, a beautiful young lady, she would do the same with one of her male friends ( and not the uglyiest one). By doing this, she said she learned to understand him a little more, and it has healed her jealousy.
Jealousy can be a good thing too. If we do nothing to seduce him, hanging around in pyjamas at home, wearing old clothes all the time, we don’t have to wonder why he likes to look at other women who care much about themselves. If you care for him, you have to care for yourself too.