life, love, relationships, women

Those words you can’t pronounce

Among men who are afraid to commit, there’s a type who ‘s allergic to the words “I love you”. Generally, they refuse also to show any demonstration of that precious feeling. They will refuse to hold your hand when you walk together. They treat you like a good fuck buddy.

Sometimes, the guy is just honest with you and tell you straight away he doesn’t want to get involved in a serious relationship. That’s what happened to A., 31. She met two years ago a very charming man in a bar and started dating him. He told her he doesn’t believe that love can last forever and just wanted to spend some good time with her. A. accepted the deal, but inside of her, she secretly hoped he will change his mind with her.  Once, she told him how much he meant to her and that she loved him. But she saw his face changing, getting dark at the moment she said those words. “Sweetie, you know what’s between us, so don’t spoil everything” he replied to her.  She tried again weeks later, but this time, he told her that it was over.  At least, A. was warned from the beginning.

 Sometimes, the guy changes his mind, but in the wrong way. V., 27, started dating a man she met during a meeting, and told me  that she was living a fairy tale with him the first months of their relationship. He would bring her flowers, send her sweet SMS, and treated her like a princess. But she noticed he would never said to her that he loved her. Like A., she told him once that she loved him. And all of a sudden, he started to change his attitude towards her.  He began to treat her just like a fuck friend, and V. accepted this situation because she has fallen madly in love with him. Of course, it was no way she could tell him again those three forbidden words.  One day, she received an SMS from him saying that he cheated on her, and that he would never have done this if he really loves her. He wanted also to leave her.  V. was devastated when her relationship with him ended.

It’s funny to see how just three words can make a guy run away. At least, if you’re involved in a relationship like that but you couldn’t care less about the guy, you know what you can say to him to make him leave you alone.


8 thoughts on “Those words you can’t pronounce

  1. I surprised myself one time when I said those “3 dreadful words” to someone. He was speechless for a few seconds, but managed to say it back. The next day he asked me if I was serious when I said it. I pretended I was just joking, but I wasn’t!

  2. Interesting. From my experience, trying to make a relationship into something it’s not, is just about the worse thing you can do. You either love the person or you don’t. You can’t fool, trick or convince someone into loving you. That is unless you’re a character in a movie.

    You can hope, wish, dream, fantasize and pray all you want to, but you cannot make someone love you. If the person you’re with doesn’t say it freely and willingly, they just don’t love you. Suck it up, get over it and, most importantly, move on.

  3. Tommy T: Yes, I know it’s not worth pursuing a relationship with someone who doesn’t love you. But some women( maybe all of them) can’t realize this.

    April: Ha, men and their psychology…

  4. Okay, let’s say for the sake of argument, that you are correct about most women not being able to realize that (I think you’re correct). Do you think that is due to an inherited trait, or a learned trait? Do you think women are by nature, likely to hold onto a bad relationship in the hope that it will turn around or do you think that it’s something that is taught through observing other women, either real or fictional? Do you like run on sentences? HA!

    BTW, nice job with your blog. It’s very well done.

  5. Tommy T: it depends a lot on our character. Some women realize they’re better off alone, but they realized it after many disastrous relationships. Yes, they learn to move on. But I don’t think holding on to a bad relationship is something taught through observing other women. It’s a part of women’s psychology.

    Thank you!

  6. “Some women realize they’re better off alone, but they realized it after many disastrous relationships”

    Better off alone or better off not being in a bad relationship? From my perspective, people are generally better off in a loving relationship based on mutual respect and trust. Sure, it’s not going to happen for everyone, but that shouldn’t stop people from trying to find it. Also, it’s those disastrous relationships that teach us exactly what to avoid in the next one. With the right mind set, those bad relationships can be turned into fantastic learning experiences. You just have to allow yourself to grow from it.

    Oh, I’m totally adding you to my blogroll.

  7. For what I know, some women prefer being alone than involved in a bad relationship. And some other prefer being alone. Period. I know a few old ladies who’ve been living alone (or with their sister/ brother/family) since they divorced 10, 15, 20 years ago. It’s terrifying, I know, but even the NY Times wrote an article on this phenomemon. I wrote also a post about this in january.

    Oh, and I’m adding you to my blogroll too. I guess 100 words would be pleased to be not the only guy in my links anymore… Thanks!

  8. Its true that v cant force any1 to love.That person can agree to see ur love for him/her but in future he’ll definetely leave u but wat i suggest is love am1 who loves u….

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