celibacy, life, love, reflexion, relationships, women

Breaking up is breaking down ?

How do we act and react when it’s over with our partner ? Some people choose dignity and prefer to keep their tortured feelings for themselves,  but some other just have to express their feelings. 

When you’re in love with someone, and suddenly he/ she tells you that it’s over, it’s difficult to swallow the pill. Your pride is hurt, and so are your feelings.  Of course, the best attitude then is to let it go. But it’s easier to say this than to do it. B., 30, was dumped by her companion three months ago and she didn’t expect that. She thought their relationship would last longer, but her partner didn’t think that way. He just wanted his freedom back.  What he didn’t plan was that B. used to  go out in the same bars, restaurants, nightclubs,… in the city than him. So B. bumped into him quite frequently after their break-up.  B. told me that she knew where her ex uses to go out and when, so she made these meetings on purpose.  I know that she just wants him to go back with her. But that doesn’t help her to get over him.

Sometimes, you conclude to stay friend with your ex, but you can’t stand his/her new partner and you try to put trouble into his/her new relationship. That’s what happened to M., 32. She stayed friend with her ex after the end of their relationship (she broke up with him) , but didn’t appreciate that he found a new girl so quickly and that he was so fond of her. So, M. was constantly talking s… behind the back of her ex’s new object of affection with him.  Her ex, who really loves his new lady, just told M. to find another friend…

Then, you have the case of the pathetic ex-lovers. A friend of mine was dating during two years a woman who was struggling with anorexia.  He just had enough of her, and tried to be as gentle as he could be with her to avoid amplifying her problems. But it wasn’t enough. She was really furious about him, and made his life a living nightmare. She paid some guys to beat her ex. She was harassing him on the phone. She pushed him to make terrible mistakes in his job. This lasted two years, until she eventually realized she had gone too far.

We all wish we never meet people like that.