life, love, reflexion, relationships, women

A special place among the rest of them

Among the stupid things a woman can wish about his ex, there’s their impression. I know this sounds a little bit narcissistic, but hey, who doesn’t like leaving a good impression in her/his ex’s memory when it’s over ?

Frankly, I wouldn’t want to bump into one of my ex and to have him running away at the simple view of myself. I wouldn’t want him to forget completely about my existence. OK, if our relationship was short and over for more than ten years, I wouldn’t be disappointed, since I hardly remembered the guys I was dating at that time. But if our relationship lasted quite for a long time, I would be offended if he doesn’t have a clue about me.  One of my friend, who works for the human resources department of her company,  told me that she had to interview once one of her ex. She was so nervous before that interview because things didn’t end up well with him and she hadn’t seen him since the split.  On the D-Day, he arrived, sit in front of her and acted like he had never seen her before. My friend, at the end of the interview, tried to evoke some events that occurred during their relationship to make him react, but he had no reaction.  She told me she felt humiliated.  

For your ego,  that kind of memory is a good thing. What’s even better is when your ex puts you in a special place among the rest of his conquests. Of course, it depends on a crucial factor: the place you accord to your ex in your memory. If you couldn’t care less about the guy, then it won’t matter that much. But if you care about him, then it does matter a lot.  G., 32, told me she stayed friend with one of her ex who is really special to her. She appreciated, when she met him, that he treated her like the 8th wonder of the world . He also confessed to her once that she was really special to him too.

There’s however a thin line between having that special place in your ex’s memory and falling in love again with him/her.  Personally, I don’t care if I have a special place in my ex’s memory. As long as he doesn’t forget about me, I’m happy.


9 thoughts on “A special place among the rest of them

  1. Whether it ended well or not, it’s hard to forget someone you once loved unless you choose to do that – erase him/her from memory!

    I don’t know why it’s so important for me to be “the special one”. I guess it’s my ego, or maybe because each one of them is special to me in different ways.

  2. Yes, I don’t know why either why it is important to be the special one. Is it because of our ego ? Our sensibility ? Our need for recognition ?

  3. Yeah. We always think we are different than the others and that we will make the biggest impact on them. That’s what I did with my last one. I thought I was going to be different and make him change…NOPE….I was pretty much just like the rest of em. Now, my ex still calls me everyday and tells me he loves and misses me but he also still keeps in contact with all of his other ex girlfriends. I’m not so special at all. I do believe I have made an impact on his life no matter what. I know that if I bumped into him in 5 years, 10 years, whatever, he will remember me and he will let me know he remembers me. But that’s just the kind of guy he is. I know he made an impact on me….HECK Now I am BITTERBUTTERFLY! HA.

  4. finsalscollons says:

    Well, I am a guy and I have read because this topic seems interesting to me. So I can give you “the male perspective” 🙂

    I had a girlfriend for 6 years and, six months before the wedding, she dumped me (we were living in different countries for some months and she was not able to bear the distance). Needlees to say, this was awful for me, because I loved her so much and I wanted to marry her and all the typical stuff.

    Anyway, this was a long time ago and I don’t love her any more (and I won’t go back with her). However, although I decided not to keep in touch with her, even now I can’t help wishing she remembers me like somebody special, like the best boyfriend he had.

    So I think it is not only a “female feature”. Men also fall in love. Men also want their ex to remember them (forgive my English if it is a bit weird because I’m not an English-speaking guy).

  5. finsalscollons says:

    I forget saying something. I don’t think this wish of having “a special place among the rest of them” is pride.

    It is the fact that, if you remember your ex like something special and (s)he doesn’t think about you in that way, you can’t help thinking the relationship was a kind of lie. Because, while the relationship took place, (s)he didn’t love you as much as you loved him/her. So all your beautiful memories are false, because (s)he was not feeling like you thought (s)he was feeling. And this is not very pleasant, is it?

  6. Like I said, wishing this is a silly thing women can wish. When the feeling is mutual, however, it’s really pleasant.

    BTW, finsalscollons, your english is very good.

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