celibacy, life, love, reflexion, relationships, women

The road to hell is paved with good intentions

Among the blogs, you can find some rules for dating there and there, so I’m not gonna elaborate on this. What I would like to emphasize is those dates settled by our friends to break our celibacy.

I know how hard it is to be single nowadays while everything  seems to work by two, and for those who are single, the constant pressure of their entourage to find someone. Some  persons like to be single, though. They can sleep with whoever they want, they  can live their lives like they want. It may sound selfish, but hey, it’s their choice. So why  their friends/ family feel guilty for them to be single? That ‘s a tough question.

 F.,42, is still a bachelor and doesn’t want to change a thing in his life. “I’ve tried living with a woman during three years, but I realized this wasn’t for me”  he explained. “But my sisters and my mother are desperate for me, and they’ve tried to hook me with numerous women they know. But so far, it has never worked”  he explained.

Besides, sometimes, our friends and family think they know what’s best for us, and they try to hook us with someone we would have never picked ourselves.  R., 34, told me her friends arranged for her a rendez-vous with a guy, they insisted,” absolutely charming, with tons of common points with you”.  R. is a scientist and her blind date was one too. But all she feared was to meet an alive encyclopedia. And that was what her blind date was. “He kept on talking about what he read there and there and asked me about things in my job that were absolutely boring. It was the most boring date I ‘ve ever done” she said. ” And also, it made me wonder about a thing: am I so nerdy in my friends’ eyes? Is this the way they see me? “she added.

I suspect some friends to pick just the single guy in their entourage for their single friend , without analyzing  if they really make a good match. T., 31, went once to a blind date organized by her friends. “The guy was really nice, charming, all you wish in a man, but unfortunately, he admitted at the end of the date he was in love with one of my friend, and he hoped to get closer to her by going on a date with me, WTF?” she said.

On the other hand, sometimes, these kind of dates really work. T. ,29, told me she met the man of her life “in one of those silly dates your entourage arranges for you”. The point was I didn’t go on a date just with him, but with all my friends too. They just put me at the end of the table with him and they kept on throwing topics that we could discuss. At the end of the evening, I wanted to see him again, because  I realized we had so much in common” she said.”I didn’t expect to meet him. My friends didn’t tell me they invited him. They secretly arranged the date” she added.

If you had a good experience with this kind of date, feel free to leave a comment.  And if you had a bad experience, express yourself too.


8 thoughts on “The road to hell is paved with good intentions

  1. It seems that my friends are doing the same for me. They want to hook me up with every single guy they may run into. I, for one thing, am fine with being single for the time being. One, I’m not over my last love. You can’t move on freely until you are over it. Two, I just don’t have time to date. I have been talking to a couple of guys but it seems that they all give up because I keep having to put them off or whatever.

    Now, I have had the blind date experience once in my life and I will never do it again. I will have to meet them with a group of people before I go out on a date date. OH NO! I will have to share that one in a blog tonight maybe. You will have to tune in. 😉

  2. AB: Friends don’t like to see us suffering. I feel really bad when one of my friend isn’t going very well because she/he’s broken hearted.So I can understand why your friends are worrying for you. But for trying to hook you with every single guy , I still wonder if it’s a good idea… I will definitely read your post about the blind date 🙂

  3. I am not a fan of blind dates; in fact I take offense when my friends try to hook me up. It feels like they’re telling me I cannot find someone on my own or that they feel sorry to see me “loveless”.

    I myself am guilty of setting up blind dates between friends and co-workers. It didn’t work for any of them so I stopped doing that.

    My friend JF found her husband through one of those websites where they find you a perfect match based on your profile. She paid a lot of money but she said it was well worth it. She hates to admit it when asked and only a selected few knows, maybe because it looks like a desperate attempt. But hey, anything that works is fine by me.

  4. I’ve had more “bad dates” than I can count (even when I use my toes!)

    The thing is, I refuse to settle for what’s available or for what seems to make sense at the time. I’ve seen way too many relationships break down and marriages fail because the people involved thought that the commitment was the right thing to do at the time.

    Here’s the thing. You can’t think that it’s the right thing to do. You have to KNOW it.

    I’m still looking for the perfect woman for me. Despite all of the bad dates, despite all of the heartache, despite all of the pain, I’m still looking.


    Hope, that’s why.

  5. See, it’s not really the blind dates I can’t stand. See, I’m not the type that the chemistry has to hit the surface immediately. It can at times take months or even longer. Maybe i’m weird like that I am not sure. Heck the last relationship I was in, which ended up being my first true love, it took me approx. 5 months before I even relized I liked him alot. The love only followed after that. So what’s wrong with being friends and hanging out and seeing where it goes. It just seems that the guys think that if I tell em hey we can be friends and hang out for a bit, they just got the boot and it was time to disappear. Not the case at all. If they would ahve just stuck around for a bit, who knows. OH WELL! Their loss right! HA

  6. AB- In the world o’ dudes, when you tell a guy that “I want to be friends”, he thinks it means, “You’ll never ever get to see me naked”. If your not sure about how you feel and want to see where it goes, tell him that, but you may want to refrain from using the friends term.

    I think that the best way to put it is that, telling a guy that you want to be friends is like a guy you are attracted to, telling you that he thinks your sister is hot.

  7. April: I don’t like blind dates either. The only one I did was a pure catastrophy, the guy was horrible, the exact opposite of a gentleman and he let me pay the bill. But I think it’s like winning at the lottery. There are very few chances you can find the perfect match at these blind dates. For your friend, maybe she did the best thing.

    Tommy: why dating is so complicated ?

    AB: you’re like me. It took me four months of “friendship” with the man of my life before we decided to start a relationship. So I don’t know what’s wrong with being friend and seeing where it goes.

    Livette: Thank you !

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