life, love, reflexion, relationships, women

On beauty


Beauty is so subjective. You can’t be beautiful to everyone. It’s a question of personal taste”  my mother said to me when I was a kid and crying because all the other children in the school told me I was ugly.

I was recently confronted with this subject again after a long discussion with one of my best friends. I’m a size 6 (or 8 in the UK) , but yet I’m not satisfied with my weight and body. Typical of a woman… By respect for my friend, I would not mention her size. She’s just a little bit over mine, that’s it.  But she’s tall, so her so-called excess weight isn’t obvious.

I really find her beautiful, but she’s obsessed by her weight. She says that she’s not attractive in a man ‘s eyes. That’s why she’s always single. Maybe it’s because she has too many negative thoughts about herself. But it’s certainly not because she’s “fat” (like she says) .

Many men I know prefer voluptuous women instead of a breadstick.  Recently, with a group of friends, we were watching a TV show about Hollywood and their stars. My male friends were appalled when they saw how thin the  majority of the female stars were. “They all look like skeletons” one of my friend said.  But they were all speechless when Scarlett Johansson appeared on TV.

Of course, there will always be idiots to treat you like a fat lady and to tell you you look disgusting. But usually, these guys aren’t exactly what we call an adonis.

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8 thoughts on “On beauty

  1. Vivent la femme voluptueuse!

    Did I get that right?

    I’ve always been on the ‘healthy’ side as far as weight goes. I weigh a little more than I’d like to right now for reasons slightly beyond my control, but I’m working on fixing that.

    I really enjoy having flesh and curves. A lot of men like it, too. Some don’t, but everybody has their preferences.

    Your mother had it right.

    Now, where’s my diet Pepsi? har har.

  2. Vanessa: You almost got it right ! Vivent isn’t right used that way, in fact, it spells “vive”.
    Ah, weight! I think the most important thing about it is how you feel comfortable.

  3. Ahhh… I almost wrote ‘vive’. I’m rusty! hehe

    I think you are quite right. It is all about how you feel, although if you feel fat when you are not, that is not so good. I’m watching a tv show as I type this wich is a documentary about a woman who went on a diet to be a US size 0 from a UK size 8 in 30 days. It’s a health and social experiment… and quite disturbing. Sort of like “Supersize Me” in reverse.

    I was given a very unhealthy body image when I was a child/teenager and I’ve struggled to overcome that ever since. I was never fat, but I was told I was constantly. It was just so wrong… and I do despair for society’s increasing obsession with being thin. It’s getting worse by the generation.

    That said, if you can be comfortable with yourself, whatever your size, more power to you. It’s the way it ought to be. It’s not all that common, though…

  4. Geez, going from a size 8 to a size 0 ! She didn’t eat anything during one month to get to that result !

    Yes, I think there’s an increasing obsession with being thin. But in Europe, I don’t know if you heard about it, we’re getting more and more severe about models’ weight and their disastrous impact on fragile teenagers. Recently, in Madrid, a fashion show banned models with a BMI under 18. And besides, I’ve noticed a positive change in some women magazines (not in all, unfortunately) : they don’t talk anymore about losing weight fast, but instead about improving your look.
    You can never imagine how influent these magazines and the fashion industry could be on a fragile mind.

  5. Oh, my bad. It was a UK size 8 and a US size 0… I think I should have said UK size 8 to UK size 4. The show on tv just finished. She became terribly ill…

    That’s very encouraging news about that fashion show in Madrid. Weren’t there two well known models recently who died of eating disorders?

    When I was a teenager in the ’80’s, there were a lot of ridiculous diets in magazines, but the models were much more ‘normal’ looking…

  6. Yes, there was a Brazilian model who died because she only ate lettuce and drank diet coke. Maybe you should watch out with your diet pepsi 🙂
    The models in the ’80’s looked much healthier than now. Look at Cindy Crawford back then, and now the many coat hangers on magazines and on the runways.

  7. rannaland says:

    I just recently had a bout with my weight. About 2 years ago I was sitting at a hefty 214 pounds and at 5’7 that is very unhealthy. My problem was due to the fact that I had no self esteem which was caused by a horrid little toad that is now the ex-husband. I didnt even realize just how big I had let myself get and once I started working to take the weight off, I found that I became consumed with loosing as much as I could. I got all the way down to 120 which on 5’7 does not looky healthy either. Now I am quite happily at 135 which gives me some curves and I am happy with. I do agree with you 100% it has to be about what your comfortable with. I have always looked at beauty as something that comes from far deeper inside someone. It’s more about the way they are as a human being than what they look like for me. My mother once told me that looks fade but personality last forever! Kudos on this post! Smashing thoughts!

  8. Thank you,Rannaland ! Your mother had it right. I once read an interview of Monica Belluci, who was voted as the most beautiful woman in the world by a French magazine. She said that beauty is a disease that will pass. I totally agree with her.

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