celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, women

The “next door” effect

Sometimes, love is just round the corner… or the landing. How many of you have ever fallen in love (or just been attracted) with your neighbour or your roommate ?

Different reasons push you to fall for your neighbour / roommate. In the first case, there’s the mystery: you see him/her everyday but you don’t know anything  about him/her. But there’s also a lot of physical attraction going on. I still remember, when I was younger, the fascination I had for my closest neighbour. We used to share the same bathroom located on our landing with one other person. But our landing was closed by a door, so we didn’t have to expose ourselves to the sight of everyone passing by when we got out of the bathroom.  My neighbour used to get out of his shower with just a towel wrapped around his hips, usually at the moment when I was leaving my apartment to go to the university. I didn’t know if he did it on purpose, but for sure, I enjoyed the spectacle. My friends also. One of my gay friends fell for him badly and came to fetch me every morning at my apartment just to see him and his towel.  G., 32, told me she played a game like that with her neighbour, before deciding to start a relationship with him. “I was physically attracted by him, and I liked the little game of seduction that was going on between us. We eventually started a relationship together, but it didn’t last long. We found out we had nothing in common” she said. “I also wondered if I had met him in a different place and different conditions, like at the office or in the club, I would have been attracted  by him”  she asked.  For sure, the proximity effect has played a huge role here. But this kind of relationship rarely leads to something serious.

In the second case, it’s different. Y. ,28, told me she fell in love with on of her roommates when she was studying to become a lawyer. And now they’re getting married. “We just realized we had some much in common. We fell progressively in love with each other, it wasn’t love at first sight. We were friends before getting together” she explained. “But of course, the proximity played a huge role too. If we didn’t share an apartment, we would have probably missed each other”  she added.

The proximity, the fact that you know your roommate sometimes better than his/her partners and  the special platonic relationship you create between you can lead to love. But sometimes, it’s not mutual. H.,34, explained she fell in love with her roommate too. But he was gay. “We had so much in common. We were so close together, I gave him advices for his love life, he gave me advices for my look,… I realized I had fallen in love with him, I attached myself to him badly. But the day he announced me he was moving out with the love of his life, I was devastated” she said.   

Falling for your neighbour/ roommate can lead to something serious, a so-so love, or a big disappointment. One of my friends says that’s why she chooses her apartment in function of the neighbours. Her rule: finding only ugly neighbours. 

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blogging, life, love, men, relationships, sex, wacky, women

The other man of your life

Do you remember that episode  of Friends where Rachel and the others ended up in the hospital because of the birth of Ross’s child , and Rachel started to flirt with a handsome doctor until she discovered he was a gynecologist ?

I had recently a discussion with one of my friends about male gynecologists and the fascination that some women can have on them. She told me that her gynecologist was quite handsome, and that some of his patients named their newborn after him. How weird is that ?

This reminds me also of that movie with Richard Gere, where his character attracted also numerous ladies in his cabinet. I still wonder how you can create a particular relationship with your male gynecologist.  Personally, I hate to see him once a year. If I can skip this necessary appointment, I would. But the fact he’s a man doesn’t change anything. I had a female gynecologist before, and I felt exactly the same.

And besides, when you’re on the examination table, you’re not at the top of your seduction, isn’t it?

My friend doesn’t agree with me. She considers the gynecologist as a phantasm for some women. “After all, who knows best a woman’s body than a gynecologist ?” she asked. But I still wonder how is his sex life after seeing vaginas and boobs all day long.

So, ladies, do you think a male gynecologist would make a good lover ?

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broken heart, life, love, men, relationships, women

It’s over before it began

Sometimes, a little unfortunate sentence can ruin everything with your potential partner. Some people say everything that’s running in their head on their first date because they panic and are too intimidated by their date.  That’s sweet, but in some cases, they’d better have kept their mouth shut.

A friend of mine told me about her latest encounter with the opposite sex, which turned into a disaster. “We were in a bar, and I spotted him sitting a few seats from mine. He also seemed to be interested by me. But none of us wanted to make the first move. One of my friend came to talk to him, and he joined our group. Slowly, all my friends moved out, leaving us alone, and we started to look each other, but never said a thing. I proposed him to go with us at the club next door, but he refused. He said that he only dances when he’s under the influence of drugs, but wanted to see me again. I just ran away” she said.

Another friend of mine told me he got rejected last year by one of his dates because he was making fun of that band  who won the Eurovision song contest in 2006. “I was laughing and asked to my date who the hell on earth could listen to such an horrible band. She replied that she loved them” he said. “I never saw her again after that” he added.

 A. 31, said she rejected a guy because he told her he hated children. A. is a kindergarten teacher (that’s too bad). 

Pierre Desproges, a famous french humorist, said we can laugh about anything, but not with anyone.  How right he was. There’s a list of subjects you must avoid with some people, including your date.  But of course, when you get a date with a total stranger and hardly know anything about him/her, it’s difficult to know in advance what subjects will make him/her angry at you.  And sometimes, relying on your instinct isn’t a good idea.

However, there are certain rules to follow to avoid catastrophes like that. Try to avoid making any judgement on these following subjects: environment, politics, religion, children, women, … You shouldn’t criticise the other’s personal tastes too.

On the other hand, those spontaneous sentences we leaked in a conversation can be helpful too. Why persecute yourself if you know it’s never gonna work between him/her and you ?

What sentence will make you immediately run away from a potential partner ? 

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life, love, men, relationships, sex, women

You’re going cheap in the sales

F. ? Oh yeah, she’s such a bomb, but I won’t date her because she’s too easy and every male in the town has his chances with her”.  I have often heard this sentence coming from guys about some women.  But I start to hear  the same coming from women about men too.  “I could never date a sleep around, who has been with all the people I know” confessed A., 32.  “It’s not that I’m afraid of STDs with him, but just telling to myself I’m another one on his long list of conquests- if we can call them conquests because they’re more people willing to sleep with him- and it hurts my ideal of a relationship” she added.

For some women, it’s all about the question of STDs. “When I met G., I thought he was charming and very attractive. But some of his friends told me I would  have the honour of being the 300th person to sleep with him. And yeah, by person, they mean he didn’t have a preference for men or women. I was totally disgusted.  God knows what kind of diseases this sleep around could have caught by sleeping with so many people” she explained.

Of course, some people don’t mind dating easy women/ men.  “I know she’s a sleep around. She’s the office whore of her company. I met some of her colleagues who told me she slept with every of her male colleagues. But that’s why precisely I chose to date her“B., 34, admitted.  “What he has done in his past, I don’t want to know. I ‘m happy with him, and that ‘s what matters to me“K., 31, said.

Some people have mixed feelings about these easy men/ women. “I didn’t mind the fact he has slept with so many people. But what pushed me to leave him was the fact he was so insecure. I knew, because of that, he would sooner or later be unfaithful to me” N.,30, explained.  “She came into  my life with a bag full of her psychological problems: she had a trouble childhood, she was kicked out of her house at 16, she had many experiences with drugs and alcohol, and on top of that, she aborted  twice” U., 35, explained. “I didn’t mind she was an easy woman, but because of all her problems, she kept on going off the rails, and it was really difficult to handle her” he added.

What would you do if you meet someone like that? Do you run away? Or you don’t mind?

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celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, sex, wacky, women

What’s it with women and chippendales ?



VS

 

 

 

One of my friends wants to celebrate her 30th birthday with an unforgettable party. For the occasion, she’d like to have a chippendale dancing for her (and more, if it’s possible). I asked her why the hell on earth she wanted such a show, and she replied that this kind of men turns her on and she wanted to know once in her life this “extraordinary” experience.

E., 29, told me she regularly goes to see Chippendales shows. “I cannot help it, they’re so sexy. And also, I have the opportunity to approach some of them, and they’re quite open to women, if you know what I mean” she explained.

Are the Chippendales another version of the trophy men ? Why are there so many women running to their shows ? “It’s because they correspond to a certain dream for women ” I. ,34, thinks. “Do you know many males who take care of themselves like that ? They so muscular, attractive,…” she asked.

This point of view isn’t shared by all women, though. K. ,32, confessed she absolutely hates the perspective of a bodybuilded man, oiled and wearing a thong, shaking his groove on her. She told me her friends set up a surprise party before her wedding, and invited a stripper who looked exactly like a chippendale. She told me that if she could have done it, she would have told the guy to find another surprise party. “This kind of guy turns me off. I find nothing sexy in a guy who spends his day on workouts and in beauty parlors” she said.

U.,31, told me that her friends planned the same thing for her 30th birthday, but she insisted that they offer her a priced bag instead. So, instead of a stripper, she received a beautiful Kelly bag for her birthday present.

I think I would prefer to receive a Kelly bag for my 30th birthday than a stripper, like U. What would you choose if you were given that choice ?

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celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, women

The failed manoeuvers in the dark

One of my single female friend isn’t shy when it comes to approaching men. She told me she like flirting with them, even though she doesn’t expect anything serious, just because of their reactions.  She said she’s waiting for a real man, “who won’t be afraid if I make the first move and be able to handle it”. “Most of the guys I met in bars and at the disco are intimated by me. They feel so embarrassed when I try to start the conversations with them”  she added.  “The only ones who don’t blush and are able to keep a conversation with me are either under the influence of drugs or alcohol, or maybe both” she said.

It’s quite curious what she told me. Because recently, a woman I met complained about how she gets accosted all the time. She said she does nothing to attract men in particular. But she’s shy and a little bit mysterious, and I guess that’s what turns men on.

Does this mean that men don’t like to be hunted and when roles are inverted?  Not necessarily. H., 35, told me that if she hasn’t made the first move with her husband, she would probably never marry him. “He blushed and didn’t know what to say when I first met him, but as I was a little bit desperate and thinking about leaving him, he found the courage to ask for my telephone number, and the rest is history”  she said.

Y. ,31, told me she has another tactic for flirting. “It’s all about letting him the impression he gets the control of everything, while it’s not”  she explained. “Usually, if I spot a potential partner, I try to approach him and stand in his sight. It works 80 % of the time” she said.

So, ladies, what’s your strategy for flirting with men ? And gentlemen, do you run away when a woman is accosting you?

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blogging, Music, women

Hush

Since I’m feeling in the same mood than Vanessa right now,  I will wait until this wave of bad emotions go away. Until then, a little bit of cheering up from one of my favourite bands (and from my favourite singer, Aawww) will do the trick.

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