celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, women

The chosen one or the one who chooses?


A love life is difficult to control. You don’t want to get involved into a relationship because you want to profit from your celibacy, and then , you meet the person you thought you would never meet.  You’ve been single for long and want desperately to find someone, but that special someone never comes. That’s ironic.

What’s also ironic is the trick love plays on us. You desire someone badly, but he/ she couldn’t care less about you.  Someone has been in love with you for a long time, but you don’t want to hear about it.

So, how do we get involved in a relationship then ? There’s a part of pure chance when you find someone you really want to spend some time with. When I ask the question around me, most of my friends tell me that generally, they let the other do the first approaches and then decide whether or not  they would start dating.  It may be the easiest solution.

Very few people from my entourage tell me that they like taking control of their sentimental life, so they generally choose the one they would date and try everything possible to get that one.  For a woman,  it’s even more difficult  because some men still refuse to let a woman make the first maneuvers of approach.

Besides, you have to have guts when you’re a woman to make the first move, and to eventually stand a no-no.  Of course, if you succeed, it’s a huge reward for your pride. But if you’re just pushed away, it hurts.

R., 34, told me that she had no choice but to make the first move. “I constantly attracted the same kind of guys, arrogant, unfaithful, and selfish. One day, I decided to choose myself. I spotted at my office one of the accountants and I started to flirt with him. I just checked before if he was married. I discovered a guy who was the exact opposite of my ex.  And now, we’re moving in together” she said.

But if you get refused all the time by doing so, you will finish to get bitter.

Besides, what’s best for our ego? Being chosen by the most beautiful and gifted person, or land that person instead ?

Advertisements
Standard

3 thoughts on “The chosen one or the one who chooses?

  1. That’s a good question. As a woman who loves a good chase, I’ve had to all but give it up. Mama is right – men are naturally competitive and love a good run for their money (no that wasn’t Freudian lol). Now I loiter near their “space” and allow myself to be ripe for the plucking. Even if it is calculated.

    I recently had one guy chase me for well over a year. Here’s the trick though – the more powerful the man, the more you’ve got to play hard to get. You’ve got to stand out, act the opposite of your adversaries, and let him do the chasing.

  2. Haha, Stiletto. I’m always impressed by the subtil way women flirt with men. It’s all about giving him the impression he’s in control of everything, while it’s not 😉

  3. Haha, Stiletto. I’m always impressed by the subtil way women flirt with men. It’s all about giving him the impression he’s in control of everything, while it’s not 😉

    Exactamundo!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s