I watched a curious live domestic fight this morning at the office. As two of my colleagues live together, sometimes, they bring a little bit of their intimacy at work. Today, they were fighting – or, to be precised, madam was mad at her man, because he partied all night long and came back early in the morning completely drunk. I understood that he called her several times during the night to ask her if she could fetch him at the pub. The problem was that the multiple phone calls woke up their babies, who kept on crying during the night. So, I let you imagine how pissed off was my colleague this morning.
I went once to lunch with her and she explained that in her house, there were three kids and the biggest one was working with us. I felt so sorry for her. She also told me she had the impression she has to do the police every time with her partner, and that she felt sometimes like mothering him.
I remember once having a discussion over that matter with some friends of mine. One of them told me that we have no choice but to mother men because they’re more immature than us. I told her that this is exactly why I left my previous partner. I felt like I was mothering him. He was constantly relying on my advices and couldn’t take a decision on his own. One of my friend said on the contrary she liked this impression of having control of everything.
Besides, I realised that having to babysit your partner has a lot to do with his age. My two colleagues are both 33, my friend who’s involved into that same kind of relationship is 34 and so is her partner. It’s even “worse” when your partner is younger than you.
So, that would mean this phenomenon disappears if you pick an older guy ? Yes, but there’s another problem. V., 28, is currently dating a 52 year-old man. She said he always told her what to do and what to wear, but she doesn’t mind.
What’s best then ? Well, it depends a lot on our character. Personally, I don’t want either of those two categories. I prefer when he’s independent.