life, love, men, relationships, wacky, women

Caught out there

When you cheat on your partner, you’d better have to be careful he/she doesn’t discover anything or you will end up sooner or later in splitsville. This man has just experienced the downside of not being too careful with proofs of his infidelity.

A friend of mine used to work for the call center of a credit card company, and she related all the special requests some customers made when they got in contact with her. It goes something like this.

Case n°1

My friend :Hello! May I help you?

The customer :Hi, I have a little problem. See, I went several times this month to a gentleman’s club and I payed each time with my credit card. I wouldn’t want my wife to know this special activity, so, is it possible to make disappear those payments on my invoice? I would pay for this if you want.

Case n°2

My friend: Hello! May I help you?

The customer: Hello, I would like to know if you can help me. It’s delicate to say, but I don’t want my wife to learn the existence of my mistress. I try hard to avoid this, but recently, I bought to my lover a necklace the same day and in the same boutique where I bought a bracelet for my wife. I paid with my credit card. The problem is my wife is suspicious and that she can’t help checking my invoice behind my back. Can you make disappear this annoying line on my invoice?

Case n°3:

My friend : Hello, may I help you?

The customer: I have a -ahum- tiny little problem. You don’t want me to add another divorce to the long list of this country, don’t you? Well, I just spent the week -end in Rome with my mistress, but my wife thought I was there for a professional seminar. We went to this exquisite restaurant on this place I don’t remember the name and I spent my money to bought to my mistress flowers and jewelry. If my wife saw this on the invoice, she’s gonna ask me about the jewelry. So, can you make this disappear ? If you can, I will invite you to the restaurant of your choice.

My friend told me in this case she asked the guy if he would pay by credit card at the restaurant and if he wouldn’t mind going to the most expensive one of the town. He just vanished. For the two other cases, she just said no to the guys. And she explained they tried again with the other operators, but everyone was just scandalized by this (all the operators were women) and refused.

My friend explained these kind of requests were frequent. Obviously, her customers had never heard of those internet sites proposing to cover their hideaway with their mistress.

This leaves to an important question: if you partner cheats on you, would you want to know?


On another subject, Vanessa, you will be devastated to hear this (I was too). The mess that is Britney Spears is DATING Criss Angel. Geez, his sex appeal has suddenly turned from ten to zero with this news. Next thing you’ll know, this dlisted pornstar lookalike would be probably hit Greg Patillo/ Julian MacMahon/ Verka Sedurshka.


16 thoughts on “Caught out there

  1. Honesty is important in a relationship. Open communication bridges gaps. Relationships are not only about the good times. If my partner cheats on me, would I want to know?

    Yes, I would want to know.

    So I can cut his goddamned balls off and feed it to him raw! Damn fucker.

  2. @Liz
    OMG! I won’t do that! I would, however, do the following.

    1) Use a large pair of scissors, heat them up and cut that thing off.
    2) Use hot glue or anything that will make it stick permanently to mould it to his forehead.
    3) As a finish touch, I’ll put a nose ring through it.

    Oh dear, I’m so evil.

  3. Pingback: University Update - Britney Spears - Caught out there

  4. lovetips4all says:

    Oh my God, you gals have mercy. I’m laughing so hard… I wish your Mr Light of Your Life would take note of this, or else, ouch…ewww…

    I don’t think I can do the scissor part, but I’ve heard in the news a woman did do that, and the poor guy and his separated thing were sent to the hospital…Hahaha, don’t know how successful the surgery would be, but well, serve him right!!!

  5. Oh, Eleanor, I wouldn’t be so cruel. I think I will just leave without saying anything and take all my belongings. Remorse is far more tormenting than a physical pain :mrgreen:
    For the scissor part, yes, that woman is Lorena Bobbit. But the doctors managed to put everything back in place for the cheating husband, and now, I think he’s pursuing a career in the porn industry.

  6. Honesty is the key factor in my relationship with my wife.

    I mean, if she wants to get laid, I just pay for one of those well endowed midget strippers to take care of her. I mean, the garden isn’t going to cut itself and what the heck does a stripper know about landscaping anyway?

  7. Bloody hell. You are not wrong about Criss Angel’s sex appeal going from 100 to 0. Last week I heard he was on with Cameron Diaz, and that his wife was suing him for non-payment of household expenses.

    It’s official. My infatuation is finished. Kaput.

    Ugh! I’m glad you let me know…. thanks! Heh…

  8. Oh, I didn’t mind he was with Cameron Diaz. I don’t find that woman particularly repelling, compared to the male- deflecting harpy that is Brits. And de nada for this sad news.

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