Most of us couldn’t stand to be cheated on, but on the other hand, when it comes to infidelity, we tend to be more indulgent with ourselves. I recently had a long discussion with a friend of mine about how we consider to be unfaithful to our partner, and I realised that the very definition of infidelity varies a lot from one person to another.
Let’s take an example: if you kiss another man, would you consider this as cheating? That’s a tough question, because it depends on the circumstances. For me, I would say this is cheating, but for some women, it isn’t. “It depends a lot. If it’s a guy you met while you were throwing a bachelorette party, it doesn’t count. But if it’s a man you flirted with all night long, it is” said my friend.
Another example: Do you consider flirting with another man as cheating? Well, again, it depends on the circumstances. If it’s a man you’re sure you’ll never see again, no. If it’s your colleague, friends, a person of your entourage,… you see all the time, yes. That’s my opinion (but I don’t flirt with other people in general). My friend agrees.
Then, there’s the virtual infidelity. Have you ever chatted with another man online (your colleague at work or a perfect stranger) , and do you consider this as cheating? My answer is yes, and my friend agrees.
And your crush for a celebrity, how far does it go? Do you think about him/her when you make love to your partner? And do you think it’s cheating? Gosh, it never happened to me, and I would answer no to that question. But my friend did several times, and she considers this as cheating.
Another friend of mine doesn’t believe in exclusive relationships. So far, she has only been in open relationships, but she told me there are rules to be respected. First, she never falls in love with men she meets other than her official partner. Secundo, she tries not to meet them again. Tertio, she never tells anything to her official. And he must follows the same rules with her.
How do you locate yourself towards all this questions? And what is your definition of infidelity?