Recently, my chief editor and 49 other women of my country have been elected as the “50 most influential women” of my country. Since in my newspaper, we knew pretty much all of them professionally (and sometimes more), some of my colleagues just joked about one thing: these women were also the ones who, for the most of them, have a poor love life. My chief editor isn’t spoiled in her love life. Since she divorced from her husband ten years ago, we have barely known her with a new man (and some journalists complain she would need a good shag because she’s such a b…).
Clearly, most of them have sacrified everything to their career. Among the 49 other ladies mentioned in the list, there was also a chief editor from another media, who makes our boss look a little lamb next to her. All the journalists who work, have worked, worked with her confirm she has sacrified everything to her career. She has no friends, no man, no social life, and she deserved truly the title of male-deflecting harpy.
She used to date a journalist from my newspaper, who quickly left her because he couldn’t stand her anymore. Everyone who knows her and him still wonders why he just fell for her. Objectively, she’s not repelling at all physically. But her charachter is such a pain in the ass that no sensible man dares to stay with her. She throws tantrum all the time, she’s jealous, mean with everyone except her boss. Everyone agrees she would need a therapy right now, but she refuses.
In her case, it’s not her career who stands as a hurdle for her relationships. Everyone agrees that she just jumps into her career to avoid the other disastrous parts of her life. I just feel pity for her.
When you work from 8 am to 10 pm and over a day, it’s really difficult to maintain a social life. I’ve met numerous traders in the City of London who complained about this. So, I could easily imagine how hard to have a stable relationship in that context. I don’t even talk about having children.
I still wonder the effect of such a deprivation on your mental health on the long term. Some traders told me they don’t plan to do this all their life. Their goal is to make the most money they can and then retreat at the age of 40 (and even under) to the South of France, where life is much more easier.
How do you find a balance in all this?