celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, wacky, women

Women on top

Recently, my chief editor and 49 other women of my country have been elected as the “50 most influential women” of my country. Since in my newspaper, we knew pretty much all of them professionally (and sometimes more), some of my colleagues just joked about one thing: these women were also the ones who, for the most of them, have a poor love life. My chief editor isn’t spoiled in her love life. Since she divorced from her husband ten years ago, we have barely known her with a new man (and some journalists complain she would need a good shag because she’s such a b…).

Clearly, most of them have sacrified everything to their career. Among the 49 other ladies mentioned in the list, there was also a chief editor from another media, who makes our boss look a little lamb next to her. All the journalists who work, have worked, worked with her confirm she has sacrified everything to her career. She has no friends, no man, no social life, and she deserved truly the title of male-deflecting harpy.

She used to date a journalist from my newspaper, who quickly left her because he couldn’t stand her anymore. Everyone who knows her and him still wonders why he just fell for her. Objectively, she’s not repelling at all physically. But her charachter is such a pain in the ass that no sensible man dares to stay with her. She throws tantrum all the time, she’s jealous, mean with everyone except her boss. Everyone agrees she would need a therapy right now, but she refuses.

In her case, it’s not her career who stands as a hurdle for her relationships. Everyone agrees that she just jumps into her career to avoid the other disastrous parts of her life. I just feel pity for her.

When you work from 8 am to 10 pm and over a day, it’s really difficult to maintain a social life. I’ve met numerous traders in the City of London who complained about this. So, I could easily imagine how hard to have a stable relationship in that context. I don’t even talk about having children.

I still wonder the effect of such a deprivation on your mental health on the long term. Some traders told me they don’t plan to do this all their life. Their goal is to make the most money they can and then retreat at the age of 40 (and even under) to the South of France, where life is much more easier.

How do you find a balance in all this?



19 thoughts on “Women on top

  1. Pingback: University Update - Christopher Dodd - Women on top

  2. The thing is, these women probably won’t retire at 40. It’s the only life they’ve known and I’m sure they wouldn’t be able to enjoy the quite the same quality of life if they retired so early. They may have to support themselves for another 50 years!

    Personally, I would much rather have a fulfilling personal life, because I’ve had some great jobs, but it never quite compares to having a happy love life.

    I know 40 is the new 30 and all that, but how sad to miss out on all those years…

    Then, there’s also the part about it being harder to find a partner after a certain age. Most men are taken, or looking for a younger model…

  3. Well, I’ve met so much traders, male and female ones, who told me about their work conditions, and I don’t think anyone can sustain these on a long term. Either you get nuts or you just leave.
    It’s ten times worse when they are single parents. One woman told me about how she didn’t see her son growing, and discover with a huge delay he suffered from mental disease. She had no choice but to sacrify her career.
    But you’re right about finding someone after a certain age. On that matter, men seem to have easier to find than women. And figure it out why, but they always pick younger chicks. Midlife crisis ?

  4. Raindreamer says:

    Well it is kind of an addiction. Before it was only for men – now also for women. Workholics. And as mentioned above not always by their own choice.

  5. Raindreamer, not only this has become an addiction for some women, but this has also brought other problems in the equation, like for example taking drugs just to stay awake. In Europe, stats are alarming for the consumption of cocaine and amphetamins. For the moment, the consumers are more masculine, but I’m sure the balance will reverse sooner or later.

  6. Raindreamer says:

    You do know that I live in Europe although I have this silly avatar, which can imply something else??

  7. Haha, I know you live in Europe, despite your avatar, Raindreamer! But the region really stands out compared to the other continents regarding those drugs, especially cocaine.

  8. Oh yeah, by the time I met him, Mike had cut his hair and had started wearing cool clothes. The shirt he was wearing was actually the first thing I spoke to him about. I was standing behind him in a club and tapped him on the shoulder….

    That’s very sad about that woman and her son……

    The midlife crisis (cue Faith No More) thing is alive and well. My uncle is suffering this particular affliction as we speak. It has been said that men are biologically prone to seek out women younger than them because they appear more fertile…

  9. Yes, this is very sad for the woman and her son. It’s terrifying, because I can easily relate to her story. As a journalist, I’m often away from home, and honestly, I still wonder if I will be able to raise a child properly doing this job. My female colleagues always complain about this, and some have left the media because of it. It’s a tough decision to make.
    Ha, I was thinking too about Faith No More when I mentioned the midlife crisis 😀 Don’t tell me about it, I have tons of examples of it around me. Not in my family, but at work and even in the street. Right now, one of my colleagues, who’s 45, is having an affair with another journalist who’s 30. And of course, he’s married. This sucks.
    Geez, I would love to meet in a club Mike Patton. The only celebrity I ever crossed road with was a total has been. Lucky you 😀

  10. I wanted to comment before but this wordpress maintainence was just killing me…..

    anyways Its brilliant post modobs….I often think how beautifully and simply you write down your feelings. You know what, how women can make a balance, I guess with your career if you want its totally depend upon you how to be social also, because i think career and society both are really important for living a descent and happy life. If you only remain yourself busy with work then you can’t ever be happy because at the end of the day you will be really tired and not happy at all….I wrote a post about working women you can check it out…

  11. Thanks, Samiha Esha! I ‘ve read your entry about working women, and you’re right. It’s important to find a balance in all this, but it is really hard, especially when you have chaotic schedules. By some miracle, however, some women are able to do it, and just for that, I bow down.

  12. When men in top positions have a cut-throat work ethic they’re hailed for it because it explains and justifies their success. When they go from one woman to another, they’re admired as being ladies men. When their marriages end up in divorce, it must be the owman’s fault because, anyway, she just married him for money.

    When women in top positions have the same work ethic as these successful men, they’re called bitches. When these ‘bitches’ don’t succeed in relationships the way they’ve succeeded in work, well, it justifies their monicker.

    Now, granted some of these women are really bitches, some of them had to become bitch-like to survive mostly male-run work environments.

    This double standard sucks and it sucks even more when we women start thinking the same way men do.

  13. Liz, I know women have still a long way to go to be treated as equal as men. I’ve met tons and tons of women in the financial world who told me about their difficulties to be considered as competent, and you’re right, some of them complained about being treated as bitch, even if they don’t deserve it.
    Indeed, you have to impose yourself if you want to be heard in this still macho world (it depends where you work, of course). Therefore, the bitchy personality becomes like a second nature.
    Yet, in the case of my chief editor and the other one I mentioned, they are a particular case. You should meet them, you would understand why. My boss has zero psychology and loves to bring down everyone (men AND women) in front of their colleagues. She would be a man, I would still feel the same for her.
    The other one is even worse. She can’t stand the other women, she has made sure every female journalist competent stays out of her media. She does the same with the male ones. As a result, nodoby can really work with her.
    They are not bitches, they’re just mean, and there’s a huge difference 😀

  14. You’re right. They both sound pretty horrible that it doesn’t matter what their sex is. I don’t get how these people can be so mean. Although they probably won’t admit it, their meanness reflects their insecurity. I feel bad for you that you have to work for one of them. Somehow, though, I have a feeling that you can swing it. 🙂

  15. Pingback: War of the pigs « What’s love got to do with it ?

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