life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Head like a hole


WARNING: This post IS NOT MEANT to MOCK MEN. Don’t feel personally offended.

I bumped recently into a guy who used to be one of my classmates back in College. We used to hang out a lot with our group, but quickly parted ways because there was in the group a guy I really couldn’t stand. This douche used to date one of my ex-friends, who started to ignore all her female friends because “we weren’t worth it” in the eyes of the object of her affection. But apparently, they have broken up and he’s getting married to another woman in the coming months.

Some people choose to sacrifice their friends because their partner couldn’t stand them, and that’s a shame. Generally, the object of their affection is jealous and possessive, and doesn’t want his/her partner to see other people than him/her. But sometimes, their motivation is different and only concerns one particular person. “J.F. used to be my best friend, but when he started dating her future wife, he just ignored me. I learned later that she couldn’t stand me because she feared I would steal her man away from her. The truth is, six months before they started dating, I kissed him when I was drunk, but it didn’t go further because I didn’t want it.  This situation is strange, because I understand her”explains K., 28.

A friend of mine told me a similar story with her former BFF. “We used to be attached by the hip when we were teenagers, but she started to slowly ignoring me when she dated this jerk. He didn’t like me at all, for him, I was just a brainiac not cool at all, and back then, you were considered as a loser if you were friend with me” she said. “But I had the impression he was jealous of the bond we had with my former BFF” she added.

Finding your soul mate can be really difficult, so what if he/she doesn’t like all your friends or just your best friend? Would you sacrifice your friends for him/her? Would you just dump your soul mate or tell him/her to accept your friend despite his/her feelings?

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5 thoughts on “Head like a hole

  1. Pingback: head like a whole « Deliberation Of Samiha Esha

  2. amiweird says:

    I think a person has to ask themselves why their partner doesn’t like their friends.
    If it’s because admittedly to an outsider they may appear to be pigs or anti-social/degrading towards the opposite sex/boring as dishwater or just plain creepy etc, then maybe you need to reassess what you are asking of your partner and make some arrangements that suit both of you. If your partner knows you get what they go through when you are all trying to hang out, then they will be more accommodating because they’ll know you’re there to stick up for them.
    If your partner is only picking on petty, shallow and judgemental issues – ie: looks, social status, a differing taste in music etc, then maybe you need to reassess who your partner is.
    If your entire family and most of your friends (people who you would trust in just about any situation) have expressed concerns about your choice in partner then you probably need to ask yourself if staying with him/her is a realistic long term plan.
    Great post.
    🙂

  3. simply brilliant, exactly guys are always like that, they never know how beautiful friendship can be and they always try to use it in a bad way, anyways beautifully picked up modobs. I liked the post so much and i kept it as my personal collection 🙂
    have a nice weekend…take care…:)

  4. Hi, Amiweird!

    Thanks for stopping by. I totally agree with you. Friends are as important as the love of your life.

    Samiha Esha: thank you 😀 It’s true that this is more a male phenomenon, but some women too are possessive and jealous enough to forbid their partner from seeing their friends. It’s a shame. Have a nice weekend too, and take care 🙂

  5. Pingback: My friends over you « What’s love got to do with it ?

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