celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, sex, thoughts, wacky, women

Every you and every me

On the celibacy market, which people have a better chance to score/ find the one? I had a conversation with one person I know (D., in fact) about this topic. And D. was convinced it was all about the look/appearance. I’m not convinced at all.

If you’re drop-dead gorgeous, you won’t have necessarily a better chance to find love. Either to get laid. One of my friends is a model, and she told me she didn’ t score so much lovers in her life, and even had difficulties to get approached by men in general. I still remember when I was in College this beautiful student who told me surprisingly she didn’t have that much success with men in general.

D. may be not so wrong however: our appearance plays a huge part in our love life, but it’s not the only element that comes in the equation. Self-confidence is the key, I think. When you go out clubbing, look after the women who attract the most of the male attentions. It’s never the most beautiful lady. Just the ones who feel good about themselves and glow on the outside. You can be beautiful, the most beautiful woman in the world, if you have zero self-confidence, you can be as attractive as a medusa to men.

Then, there’s the personality. Another key element. What’s the use of having a pretty face if there’s nothing in the brain? But here, it depends in which league you’re playing. If you’re dumb, blonde with big boobs, you will attract dumb guys obsessed with big tits or men looking for a woman easy to dominate/manipulate. That’s your main cruising field. If you have a terrific personality, even if you’re blonde with big boobs, this will open you many doors with men. But if you’re truly ugly, unfortunately, that doesn’t work.

That’s the irony of all this, if you’re too beautiful, but have zero personality and a lack of self-esteem, you have as much chances as an ugly woman with a great personality and a high self-confidence to score with men.

Now, for the male side of the story, back to D. He believes a man has no chance with women if he’s not fit and handsome. I don’t agree. If a man’s rich, no matter how ugly he is, he will always find women attracted by his money charisma. Fit? Well, for some women, this aspect isn’t so important. As long as he’s not obese, that will do (and even if he’s obese too, after all). Guys with a physic like Jack Black have their chances with women, as long as they have personality. Handsome? Well, the taste in men varies a lot from one woman to another. A man can be handsome to the eyes of one woman and not to the eyes of another one. We have a lot of conversations with my girlfriends on this topic and what turns on one can turn off another. For example, bald men. Some of my friends just said it’s a turn off, but some others (and I) do find this really attractive. Don’t forget I have a little crush on a bald man 😉 Besides, remember that guys like this one below have scored more than 2000 women, yep. Celebrity helps of course, but not only. Aaww, Lemmy Kilmister ! (kidding, kidding) Look at him, isn’t he handsome, especially with that mole on his face?

So, do you agree with D. or do you agree with me on this?


13 thoughts on “Every you and every me

  1. whatigotsofar says:

    I guess you’re more right, but that might be because you’re a bit of a fence-sitter on this issue.

    … and I don’t think one can equate scoring and finding the one. They both require vastly different criteria. Scoring can be achieved through wealth or chemicals, finding the one requires personality.

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  3. That would make one point and a half for me. You’re right, scoring and finding the one require different criteria. But personality play a role too in scoring (if you have the physic to accompany it). I still don’t believe you can score easily if you have zero personality.

  4. Raindreamer says:

    I think I have to agree whit you based on my own experience.

    1) Women love funny men and kind men – what ever they look like. I myself love “clowns”. I’ve known cases where woman was won by courtesy.

    2) For me being either shy or scary (too intelligent – one man even admitted this) has been repeller. I look normal and have ok body, but it doesn’t help, if…

    I rest my case.

  5. Raindreamer says:

    By the way according to your stories I would say he’d be most likely to have a character that scares women away.

  6. Thanks, Raindreamer, that would make two points and a half for me 😉
    Courtesy. I love when men are acting as a true gentleman. I could be won by that if I was single.
    Shyness is indeed a repeller. Even if you’re drop dead gorgeous like my friend the model, it acts as a repeller. And if a man is scared by your intelligence, it just proves he’s a total idiot.
    The two journalists who have a crush on D. must be blinded by love. I don’t see any other explanation.

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  8. justmemarissa says:

    Wow, insightful and thought provoking post. So many things I can say about this.

    First, I know a lot of couples with an attractive woman and troll-like man. (think Shrek and Fiona before her transformation) Looks are not that important to many women apparently. It must be personality, wealth or another characteristic that makes these couples work. It never seems to work in the opposite. I hate to say never…maybe rarely. I don’t often see a couple with an attractive guy and unattractive girl. I just don’t see it.

    Second, models or other very attractive women have the problem of intimidating men. Men either think they are out of their league or they think she must already be attached. So they don’t ask. Here I don’t even think intelligence or personality makes much of a difference. In fact the more positive qualities an attractive girl has the more intimidating she is, from what I have observed. A guy’s thinking, “Damn, looks, brains, personality, she’ll never go out with me.” Lots of drop dead gorgeous woman are home alone on saturday night.

    Overall, I think personality wins over looks in long-term serious relationships. It doesn’t matter how good you look in 30 years but if we can stand to spend 30 years together.

  9. Hi, justmemarissa!

    Thank you! You’re absolutely right about the personality. Beauty can never last forever, personality does.
    For the mismatch couples, I have quite a lot of examples of handsome men with not so beautiful, let’s say average women. So, it can work in the opposite too. Maybe they’re after their wealth, or they just love their personality.
    About the intimidating aspect of beautiful women, you’re right.
    Thanks for stopping by.

  10. whoknowswhy says:

    “A man can be handsome to the eyes of one woman and not to the eyes of another one. “

    True. And I think the same holds for women as well. Someone who is beautiful to me is not necessarily so for someone else.

    Also, it also depends on the person who is judging. A meek, shy kind of a person may prefer someone who’s similar to him or her because she likes those qualities. OR, he or she may go for the complete opposite because s/he admires more out going qualities.

    Didn’t a wise man say, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”? Never was a truer word spoken! 🙂

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