In French, there’s a stupid proverb that says “A laughing woman is an easy woman”. I’m not convinced at all. When I talk about this with women, most of them tell me that it’s not because a man makes them laugh that they will yield to them. And besides, there’s laugh and laugh. You can laugh because you don’t want to be impolite with the one who’s trying to be funny with you, and you can laugh because what the other tells you is really funny. That’s a huge difference.
Some women I met told me that when they think about their different lovers, it’s not their funny aspect that comes into their mind. “I’ve never been seduced by someone who makes me laugh, at least, not just by that. I generally look at the whole personality and appearance of the guy. He can be damn funny, if he’s not gifted physically, it will never do with me. Again, if his jokes are funny but stupid, mean and racist, that will not turn me on. But I’m difficult, and I search in fact for a man who can sweep me off my feet” H., 35, explains.
Humor is quite powerful however. It can save you from many situations where you feel uncomfortable. If you’re shy and introverted, it’s the best way to shine in public. It’s also a good way to break the ice with the opposite sex. I’ve noticed that many timid men try this approach with women, but this tactic only works if it’s subtle. An example? “I’m not a feminist, but jokes about women, especially the most misogynistic ones, make me cold. So, if a guy tries these with me, it’s a definite no-no” M., 34, said. “Racist ones turn me off, but if the guy’s not funny and tries to be, and if I like him, I would give him his chance”G., 32, said. “I went once on a date with a man who thought he was funny by criticizing openly rock bands, writers like Robert Ludlum, and people who voted for the conservative party of my country. That’s too bad I listen to rock bands, love Robert Ludlum and voted for that party. I didn’t appreciate at all” T., 31, said.
Besides, some women told me they appreciate a little bit of originality. “If it’s the same old joke that everyone has heard at least a thousand time, that won’t do with me. I really like when the joke involves a special attention to me, for example, if he can turn a compliment into something funny, you know what I mean.” T., 30 , said.
But humor as itself isn’t enough. “If he’s unable to pursue a decent conversation with me, that’s a no-no. But if I feel a chemistry between us, I will give it a go” H., 29, explained.
So, does humor turn you on in a man? And for men, does humor turn you on in a woman?