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Sweet instigator


Some people need a trigger in their life to know their real potential. It’s true in your professional life, but it’s also the case in relationships. In a stupid show called Temptation island broadcast in my country, there was this couple that kept on fighting with each other via the cameras. He treated her as a slut while she said he had no respect for her. At the end of the adventure, they decided to split. The woman decided to start a relationship with one of her tempters, while her ex decided to live like a Casanova. He wasn’t like that before. Maybe the proximity (and promiscuity) with the numerous ladies on the island triggered this.

This is an example on how we could change. Some of us have experienced this situation where you just help the other to feel better, and where he/she left you once recovered for someone else. In other words, you served as his/her diving-board for happiness. “I’m a St-Bernard by nature. I can’t help myself to help the others. But sometimes, they don’t give it back to me, and this has mostly happened in my love life. One of my exes was a friend of mine who just went through a difficult period in his life. He lost his mother, and used me as a shoulder to cry on. Our relationship lasted two years, and when he overcome his pain, he just left me for another woman. I felt so betrayed at that time. I still haven’t forgiven him for that” I.,34, explains.

Helping your partner-who-will-seek-for-a-greener-grass-soon to gain back his/her confidence isn’t only reserved for the St-Bernard characters. Y., 34, told me that she didn’t do anything particular to help her partner feel better. “I knew that he was absolutely thrilled to have me, that he couldn’t imagine landing someone like me. Three months after we started dating, he left me for someone else, and became a Casanova. When I knew him at the beginning, he was this insecure guy who thought he hadn’t any chance with the opposite sex” she said. Same story for U., 32. “I was considered as the sexiest girl in my school, and dating me was a challenge. But I fell for this cute little guy, you know, the type who doesn’t know how handsome he is and just blushes when women look at him. After he had me, he just took conscience of his potential with women, and began to cruise”she said.

Then, there’s the sex. Do you remember this episode in Sex and The City where Charlotte goes out with a film critic that underwent surgery to cut some skin off his dick because she asked him to do so, then left her to test his new willie? This is an example. “When I met him, he was still a virgin. I teached him several tricks in bed, and he wanted to test those with someone else” P., 30, said.

So, do you think people who used other to feel better should be burned? Just asking :mrgreen:

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5 thoughts on “Sweet instigator

  1. Raindreamer says:

    I could imagine being the confidence-seeker… but the truth is could not imagine dating someone just for to boost confidence. In fact have been in the position to do that and decided not to (twice I think). It is a choice, you know. :I

  2. It’s tempting to use someone to boost your confidence, I must admit. But it’s so cruel for the one you used. Yes, it’s a choice, Raindreamer.

  3. i can’t stop laughing at your question: “So, do you think people who used other to feel better should be burned?”

    isn’t burning a little extreme?

    actually, this reminds me of your other post where you talk about why some people chose a partner that is inferior to them. but in this situation, the inferior person blossoms and overshadows the other person…

    i guess what hurts the most in this situation is that you would expect the person you help to show more gratitude and appreciation. but there are a lot of people who use others as “stepping stones” and never acknowledge the help they received from the other person.

    and what hurts most in an intimate relationship is to think how you helped make the other person more perfect for someone else. to think that his or her marriage or sex life is better because that person “cut their teeth” for the practice and then just discards you.

    i think the best thing to do in this situation is to move on to bigger and better things yourself. and post an occasional nude picture of the other person once in a while…

  4. Burning is a little extreme, drunk american, and I won’t wish that to my worst enemy.
    It’s always hurtful when people aren’t grateful for your help, especially when those are the one you love. But yes, we have to move on.
    Occasional nude pictures? Sweet revenge…

  5. Pingback: Fix you « What’s love got to do with it?

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