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Tension head


Women are so complicated. You try  to say a compliment to her, and suddenly she’s mad at you because she didn’t take it the right way” said one of my male colleagues. Yes, some of us are complicated. But we’re like a genie in a bottle: we’ve got to be rubbed the right way. Besides,  there’s compliment and compliment. I asked around me the worst kind of compliments (and not insults) they ever got from their partners. And it goes something like this.

“You are so beautiful when you’re dressed up” H., 35.

If you were ugly, I wouldn’t be with you”K., 34.

Anything that can be said to other women in general, like you’re so charming, you have beautiful eyes, I like your hair,…”T., 30.

“What I like about you, is that you’re difficult” L., 31.

You’re pretty today”P., 35.

Sometimes, the compliment is taken the wrong way because of the context. Every woman has weight issues from time to time, and there will always be a day when she will ask you “Am I fat?”. But depending on our charachter, we will appreciate (or not) if you’re honest with us.  “I don’t appreciate if he says yes to this important question”  I., 30, said. “I never ask that question because I know the answer” M., 31, explained. “He just tells me that my butt is getting big, and that I need to exercise, which I hardly do” P.,29, said. This also applies with general self-esteem issues.

But don’t get us wrong, we love compliments, and besides, some of us don’t know how to react to them either.”I usually blush when I receive a compliment, and don’t know what to say, even if it’s my man who said that” J., 30, said.  “I just don’t know how to say compliments, and I’m embarrassed when I receive one” R., 30.

Do you like to receive compliments?

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10 thoughts on “Tension head

  1. whatigotsofar says:

    We’ve got to be rubbed the right way. That’s why I’m complimenting a woman, so that I can get the opportunity to rub her the right way.
    🙂
    But seriously, when a guy says “You look pretty,” just say thank you. We aren’t smart enough or complex enough to mean anything but. Do not look too much into what we (men) say.
    It is being yelled at for complimenting women that keeps us from complimenting women more frequently. We’re afraid to compliment women.

    By the way, the photo of the mine field is this perfect photo for this post.

  2. I love compliments. Unfortunately, mine has only said, “the curls doesn’t stay.” when commenting about my new curls. *struggling to hold back tears*

  3. Shae says:

    WIGSF: LMAO! Yes, the land mine field rocks too.

    It’s nice to get compliments whether good or bad. The one I give credit to the most are the people that can sincerely tell you (me) the truth about yourself (myself) whether by weight or something you (I) did in life. Stuff like that, but that’s just me when it comes to someone being REALLY honest. 😀

  4. WIGSF, I try to say thank you. I know that being a bitch with the opposite sex doesn’t help the battle of the sexe to end. Oh, for the land mine, this was an obvious choice 😉 Thanks!

    WishBoNe, some men (most of them?) aren’t able to do a proper compliment. Besides, you can teach him to make compliments… 🙂

    Shae, I also prefer when people are sincere.

  5. Pingback: Exercise » Tension head

  6. walligirl says:

    I had a hard time accepting compliments in the past. But in the last few years i have decided to just say thanks and enjoy it. i try not to read into it anymore, maybe i just feel better about myself and believe in myself more.

  7. I used to have a hard time accepting compliments as well, but I think that largely revolved around my own personal inability to believe that they were true (how could I believe I looked nice in that dress if I’m overweight and bumpy all over?). Now that I’m a bit older and more confident in my skin, I think I take compliments easier; it still doesn’t come like second-nature though. It’s all a work in progress. Also, FWIW, I think a woman needs to trust that the compliments coming their way aren’t to butter them up or get them into bed – a dose of genuine care and concern goes a long way to getting a woman to take the compliment.

  8. Walligirl, it’s curious how maturity helps us to accept things. But it’s true, it’s easier to receive a compliment when you feel better about yourself.

    Roxy, we can make such a fuss with compliments. In fact, it depends really if we can feel the genuine care behind the one who’s saying it. I’ve noticed that it’s easier to accept compliments with this dynamic.

  9. drunk american says:

    wow, what a very interesting post you wrote!

    or

    wow, you finally wrote something interesting!

    compliments can be a double-edged sword.

    i think most compliments are sincere, but sometimes the person who gives the compliments lack the tact to say it sincerely without giving offense. land mines are everywhere!

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