celibacy, homosexuality, life, love, men, miscellaneous, sex, thoughts, women

Free love

How do we deal with the loss of desire in a couple? Some people just choose to seek for the greener grass elsewhere, once or more. Some others experience swinging. I’ve noticed that people are more opened to talk about this delicate topic than before. Maybe it’s because mentalities are slowly evolving? When you read female magazines, this subject is more and more put on the table.

The few women I’ve met that accepted to tell about their experience have different points of view on this. If you believe what is said on Wikipedia, 60% of swingers said that swinging improved their relationship. Yet,  this aspect isn’t as obvious as it seems. “I’ve experienced swinging once, because my husband wanted me to do so. I was terrified when we entered the club. I didn’t want to do the full swap with another man, in front of my husband. That was my condition, and he accepted it. I just accepted to kiss another man, a total stranger that was wearing a mask, and gave him a blow job. Once this was finished, I didn’t want to talk about this with my husband.  I felt something had broken between us. Six months after this experience, we decided to call it quits. It didn’t consolidate our couple, it just tore it apart” M., 35, said.

“The problem with swinging is there are a lot of hidden traps. I’ve seen some women falling in love with their swapping partners, some couples unable to deal with the jealousy that lies beneath and is inevitable, some others manage however to find a balance in all of this. But both of the partners must agree on this game, and there are rules to be followed. My husband and I agreed we couldn’t assist to each other’s full swap. This has to be done in separate rooms, with a different partner each time and only in the club. We don’t bond with our swapping partners either. So far, we’re both happy with this deal, and this has improved our relationship a lot. We feel more conniving than ever”P., 37, said.

I anticipated his future need to seek for the greener grass. That’s why I pushed him to go to those clubs together” O., 36, said.

I was the one who wanted to experience swapping, not him. I wanted to put a little spice in our relationship, because we got into a routine that was difficult to bear for me. And I wanted to experiment sex with a woman. I’ve noticed that most of the women who come in those swinging clubs do so because of that” Y., 32, explained.

Would you take part in a sexual experiment like this? Personally, I think you’ve got to be on the same wavelength than your partner to experiment this. And since I don’t like to share, and the light of my life either, swinging isn’t my cup of tea.


7 thoughts on “Free love

  1. whatigotsofar says:

    Well, I’m a prude and this is all disgusting and wrong to me. But maybe the swinging doesn’t work for some because it is used as a last ditch effort to save a relationship that should rightly be dead. It doesn’t help or hurt the relationship, it is a symptom of the problem in the failing relationship or it is an attribute of the successful relationship.

  2. WIGSF, each couple has its own dynamic. You can find swinging couples happy with the way they live. But swinging can also be the last attempt to save an ill-fated relationship.

  3. Pingback: Couples » Free love

  4. I sure hope I won’t need this to inject some life into my relationship. It just feels so wrong! I guess a little karma sutra doesn’t hurt 😉

  5. I couldn’t share my husband with another woman, and he certainly would never share me with another man. Although I understand and have no issue with swinging couples, for me it would seem really bizarre. I like that my husband gets a little jealous and protective when other men hit on me. It makes me feel safe and loved in that cave-woman kind of way. My husband has “claimed” me (as I have him) so it’s really hot when he I see his territorial side come out over me. Makes me want to hop in bed with him all the more. 😉

  6. Hi speak sexy!
    Swinging is a choice, so it has to be respected, as long as it involved both partners. Of course, every couple doesn’t need this.
    Thank you for stopping by!

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