Dealing with your ex when you have just broken up can be difficult for some people, depending how the relationship ended. When you try to move on with your life, you don’t want necessarily your ex to be around you, especially if that
little bastard/bitch ex has played you like a fool. We all have different reactions towards regular encounters with our ex. Some of my friends have told me that they try to avoid them as much as they can, as long as they are not over him/her. “This distance is compulsory for me. It allows me to figure out what went wrong, and put my feelings aside. After all, far from the eyes, far from the heart is a principle that works well with me. I know that if I see him when my heart is still broken, this would have the effect of tormenting me even more” one of my friends said.
This is only possible if you can avoid him/her after the break up. “I know where he has his habits, so I don’t go to that particular bar or restaurant where I’m sure I could find him hanging out with his mates, or worse, his new conquest” B., 29, said. “We used to go to the same gym together, and I know he didn’t cancel his subscription after the break up, so I simply changed my gym to get sure I won’t bump into him” K., 32, said.
But sometimes, life doesn’t offer you that chance. This is where the rule of not dating someone from your company makes sense. “We met because we were working in the same unit, but after three months of dating, he decided that I wasn’t the one he was looking for. But the way the relationship ended wasn’t as nice and smooth as it could have been. He broke up after an argument with me, telling me that I was just crazy, annoying, difficult, and that I would never find a man. I was really pissed off, and I had to bear his view every morning when I arrived at work. I had no other solution to change for another company” M., 34, explained.
“We used to sing in the same choir, and I didn’t want to quit that activity just because that bastard didn’t want to quit either, but in the end, we got into a battle of the nerves with each other, and he decided to leave the choir, to my great satisfaction”P., 32, said.
Why is it so difficult to bear our ex after the breakup? When you try to forget about him/her, it’s better when he/she’s not around you. If you had feelings for your ex, seeing him/her again immediately after the break up isn’t a good idea. “This is how I ended up dating him again” said O., 34.
The pain and the angst (and also the physical attraction still present) you can have for your ex can be difficult to bear, and it makes you not really welcoming to the other. Besides, distance gives you a certain dignity in those difficult moments.
However, some exes manage to stay friends afterwards, but this is only possible if both parties respected each other during and after the relationship.
So, how do you react when you see your ex(es)?