celibacy, life, love, men, miscellaneous, relationships, Those little things that kill us, thoughts, wacky, women

Sick of it all


Some of you have probably heard this news about those topless Swedish women protesting against swim wear rules. In my newsroom, all the male (and hetero) journalists want to pay a visit to Sweden now because of that. More seriously, these women wanted to make sure women aren’t subjected to sexual harassment anymore. By going bare breasts, they think this part of our body would lose its erotical power on men. I can understand their point of view, but don’t they think this is a little bit too radical?

By doing this, it’s a little bit like desacralizing the female body. Whether they like it or not, we use our body as a weapon of seduction for the others, and we’re sad when this fades with age. If they really want to do this, maybe they should just let themselves go physically. There’s nothing worse for attracting or keeping a man. Some women I’ve met told me about the error they made by doing so. “I lived with my ex for seven years, and in the end of our relationship, we really had no intimacy for each other. I would let the door open when I had to go to the bathroom, just hang over in my old pajama pants or some worn out clothes during the weekend while he would stay in his old boxer and stained t-shirt. We didn’t mind farting or burping in front of each other. He scratched his balls in front of me, while I was busy bursting my facial spots. One day, we realized we had no desire at all for each other, and we decided to call it quits” L., 31, said.

“When I was living with my ex, I didn’t watch at all my weight and just ate whatever I wanted. I overindulged myself with Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, cookies, muffins, and chips, and did no exercise to eliminate all this. At the end of our relationship, I weighted twenty pounds more than when we started dating. But I wasn’t like those fat women who are really beautiful because their thickness is mostly located in their ass and their boobs. My fat was more on my thighs and my waist, I was really ugly and I had lost a little bit of self-esteem. Now, I’ve lost those excess pounds and I try to never let myself go like that again” P., 34, said.

“I would hang over with my old clothes, without being shaved or combed during the week-end, while he just let his beard grow and stood also in his old clothes, sometimes for three or four days in a row. We had no privacy for each other. And we got caught in a routine that eventually frightened both of us” N., 29.

When you date someone for the first time, you usually try to present him/her the best part of you. So, why would that change once you’re in a relationship? Of course, letting you self degradating isn’t the only explanation for a break up, but it certainly plays a role in it?

So, what flaws/ bad attitudes do you accept (tolerate) in your partner?

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9 thoughts on “Sick of it all

  1. “Woe, alas, to the one who shall have loved bodies, forms, appearances only. Death will take everything from him. Try to love souls…”

    – victor hugo, les miserables

    the worst flaw… the worst attitude… is the one that obscures a person’s soul…

  2. whatigotsofar says:

    I have a habit of finding any flaw and making a big deal of it. But you see, I’m perfect and I expect nothing less from my partners.

  3. Farting, that’s the only part of the body where you can’t control the smell and the loudness of it.

    I can’t take the crotch or butt scratching though.

  4. drunk american: there can be more than just one flaw to obscure someone’s soul.

    WIGSF: that would mean you can’t stand another person than your female copycat…

    WishBoNe: yes, farting is the only thing you can’t control. Scratching those two areas is also disgusting for me.

  5. dontdatethatdude says:

    I think that part of the beauty of a relationship is that ability to “let your hair down” with you partner. I could see where you could let yourself go in a relationship, but that may be associated with deeper issues. This society focuses too much on physical perfection, (superficiality)and not enough on true intimacy. Yeah close the bathroom door, of course. Take care of yourself, of course, but isn’t it the little flaws in people that also make them beautiful and give them character and not so much their perfection. Who wants a society of clones? Just my take on it….Great post as usual!

  6. WIGSF, I have a little doubt about this…

    DDTD: Of course, you don’t have to be perfect. It’s the little flaws that make us beautiful because it gives us character. But it takes a strong character to accept you as you are. If we all turn to surgery, we would all look the same, and this would be a shame.
    There’s a huge difference between creating a bit of intimacy and letting yourself go. It’s not because you let yourself go that you will create a strong bond with your partner.
    Thank you!

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