broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, wacky, women

Kill and lock me in a jar (rescue)

With years of fight for equality between the opposite sexes, women are now able to manage themselves on their own. But that doesn’t mean necessarily that we refuse any kind of help coming from men. Some women do even dream about a prince charming that will save them. But save them from what?

“It’s not like if I really need to be rescued by a man, but I just expect from him that he will protect me when I’m in trouble. I must say that a man who can fight for me is a big turn on” O., 32, said.

“Rescue is a term a little bit to harsh to describe what I expect from a man, but it’s true that I wait for the one that will sweep me off my feet. I have to admit I find my life a little boring and I just rely on the one to “save” me from that boring existence” T.,28, said.

I’ve found in him a  safe and quiet haven, so I could say he “saved” me. I came from a broken home where my mom was suffering from bipolar disorder and my two other sisters kept on arguing with me for everything. When he came into my life, I thought he was heaven sent. Everything seems so easy with him, we never argue, I can count on him. He offered me the family life I wanted, far from the troubles I had with mine” M., 34, said.

I was the ugly duckling when I was a teenager and had zero self-esteem back then. When I met him, everything changed. He helped me to gain confidence and to become a woman. Yes, he saved me from the old me that I hated” P., 35, said.

We all have self-esteem issues and this guides us to choose our partner, even if we’re sometimes not conscious of it.  Some women will look after a man that will offer them security and protection, others after a man that plays the role of a coach, others after the one that makes their life a fairy tale, … Some even search for a man that will save them from their celibacy. So, in that  sense, we all hope to be rescued by the other.

And this dynamic  isn’t necessarily restricted to women. Some men too look for a woman that will save them.

So, do you look for a partner that will “rescue” you?


4 thoughts on “Kill and lock me in a jar (rescue)

  1. dontdatethatdude says:

    Yes, I think I do look for that in a man, much to my disappointment, because I know logically that I am the one who will rescue myself. I just think it would be impossible, at least in America, for a woman to believe otherwise, since we have been bombarded with images of that “Knight in Shinning Armour”, since childhood. Great Post!

  2. Ditto, dontdatethatdude. The fairytale hero often trumps logic. I think, no matter how strong a woman is, she would want her man to be stronger than her — hence, the knight-in-shining-armour ideal.

    When I was younger, I unconsciously gravitated towards men who would ‘save’ me but I know this was a consequence of what happened to me as a young girl. Now that I’m older, I think partners should ‘save’ one another.

    Still, I can’t easily get rid of the fairytale. Deep inside, I’d want my partner to appear stronger than me.

    Interesting entry, modobs! 😀

  3. Thanks, Liz and DDTD 🙂

    DDTD, it’s true we’ve been influenced by those damned fairy tales where the Knight in shinning Armour rescued the princess with a pea in her head- no wait, it’s was the pea under the mattress. And this applies not only in America…

    Liz, our personal experience in life influences a lot our love life. But you’re right about sharing the rescue with your partner.
    And it’s normal to want your partner to be strong. I wouldn’t want to be with a crybaby all the time.

  4. Pingback: Fix you « What’s love got to do with it?

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