broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, wacky, women

Fool for love

We aren’t perfect, everyone has at least one flaw, otherwise, we would simply be all boring. When it comes to seducing someone, we tend to put our qualities first and to hide all our flaws, including the little flaws of our personality. An example? You’re untidy, jealous like a tiger, and a bit bossy, but you will never put this on the table when you accept a date with someone. When you meet someone for the first time, and want to seduce him, you will put these little asperities on the side, to present to him/her a smooth profile. And this can cause many troubles if you pursue the relationship with him/her, because when he/she discovers your true personality, chances are he/she will think he/she’s with a completely different person than the one he/she met. He thought you were a cool and sweet girl, but ends up with a shrew who gets mad at him because he just left his dirty socks laying on the floor and who gets to sleep at 10pm each night. Thrilling.

How does this happen? “I lie a lot on my personality to please the man I want to seduce. I have the impression to play a character, someone who’s not me. But when my real nature comes back, my partners are always disconcerted, and they end up leaving me because I wasn’t the one they were looking for” D., 27, admits.

You can lie about your personality, and fool your partner. But sometimes, there are other factors that make your partner thinks you’re another person. “I’m a bit shy and introverted with the ones I don’t know, and when I meet a guy, it’s always the same situation: he thinks at first I’m a quiet and sweet girl, and is astonished by my real personality hiding behind my shyness” P., 34, said. “I have a very opaque personality, you have to really want to know me to understand me. All my friends agree to say I’m a mystery. In my love life, it’s always the same. My partners don’t know on which foot to dance with me, and they always end up leaving me because they simply don’t understand me” K., 30, said.

Is it possible to prevent this from happening? Yes, if you stay natural. But when you’re shy and introverted, it can be difficult to be natural on the first contacts. Besides, by being natural, you can avoid losing your time with guys who aren’t worth it. Think about it.

But natural doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to tell him/her everything on the first date, like for example your acid backward flows, the torture you inflicted to your dolls/ sister/brother when you were a kid, not to mention your desire to have three children and to get married as soon as possible.

So, do you try to hide some aspects of your character when you go on a date with someone? And have you ever been rejected because the other was disappointed by your personality?




4 thoughts on “Fool for love

  1. whatigotsofar says:

    I once dated this person. I was very inexperienced in the ways of romance and I thought she was, lets call a spade a spade here, this is was first my relationship and she had dated plenty of guys before me. I tried to come off as someone who knew what he was doing on a date even though I was like a blind guy in a forest. I was smacking into trees every couple of minutes. She pretty much saw through me right away. It didn’t seem to harm the relationship though.

  2. dontdatethatdude says:

    I have a good friend and he always tells me the first year you are dating someone you are not dating them you are dating their, “representative”, I have always found this advice valuable and think everyone could benefit if they take it into account. We all reveal ourselves slowly. I think it’s human nature. I do not try to hide who I am when dating and it has caused me to be rejected a couple of times.

  3. In the first months of a relationship, we tend to look only after the other’s qualities, and ignore the little flaws. Your friend has reason on this, DDTD.
    Being rejected because of who you are is harsh, but hey, you’re not wasting your time with a dumbass.

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