broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, rant, relationships, thoughts, wacky, women

A farewell to arms

Cheshire Cat

In all relationships, there’s an important word very useful if you want to make your couple work: compromise. However, there are some deal breakers  in every relationship.  And these vary a lot from one person to another.

When you decide to date someone, you don’t necessarily know all his/her flaws right away. It’s part of the process of the discovery of the other’s personality.  Then, slowly, you begin to be confronted with his/her little failings, and deal with it (or not).

What are those deal breakers? When I ask that question around me, this is what I get.

Immature personality. Generally, this is the kind of guy allergic to commitment. I’m not talking about the guy who still a child in his heart, but the kind of guys who act primarily because of their feelings, and don’t think about what they do and the consequence of it” Y., 34, said.

If he’s unable to take a decision, or worse, unable to defy the authority of his parents, family or boss. It reminds me of a little kid” M.,35, said.

A bad kisser. When I was younger, I didn’t care that much about this, but now I’ve grown up, this is definitely a criteria that qualify or not my companion. Besides, if he can’t kiss, there’s a good chance he’s a bad lover too” K., 30, said.

A liar. I dated once a guy who kept lying to me about everything, and I started to realize incoherences in what he said to me” B., 29, said.

“If he leaves me constantly secondary feels. I was married to a basket player who put his career first before all the rest, and it really frustrated me. It wasn’t only his career: he spent a lot of time with his friends. I barely saw him, so we split” J.,32, said.

If he’s too negative about everything and can’t help speaking in derogatory terms about the others. His negativity would start to affect my mood, and I don’t want a man that keeps on tearing me down. My ex was like that. I didn’t notice how negative he was when we first met, because he was so charming, but then, his nature took over” L. 31, said.

“A bad lover” N., 30, said.

Bad manners. If he picks up his nose in front of me, can’t sit properly on his chair but just stayed with his legs wide open, swears a lot and spits. Generally, I can spot an obnoxious guy like that right away, but with one of my ex’s, I only discovered those unpleasant aspects when we moved in together” T., 35, said.

“His musical taste. I can accept a lot of things, but if he listens to the craps that top the charts, like Britney for example, it’s simply unforgivable”R., 30, said.

If he cheats. I don’t forgive that” E., 32, said.

So, what are your deal breakers?


7 thoughts on “A farewell to arms

  1. whatigotsofar says:

    A real shitty taste in music. That’s the biggest dealbreaker. None of this Eww, Pink Floyd; let’s listen to the Backstreet Boys! I am not going down that road again.

  2. I addition to not being a liar, being a good lover, making me feel special, and not cheating, I want him to be two things: a team player where we both feel like we’re on the same team and working on the same goals. The second is being financially solvent, which translates to me as paying bills and living within means, not wealth.

    If he has kids, he must parent like me. I can’t handle a martyr dad who refuses to try to balance live as an adult and life as a parent.

  3. The backstreet boys? Eeeeeewwww. I had a roommate who was a fan of them, and I can tell you it’s a nightmare to live with that, WIGSF.

    Cricket, that’s a long list, but I can’t agree more with you 🙂

  4. dontdatethatdude says:

    All of the characteristics cited in your post are deal breakers for me, and I will add if he doesn’t have sex much, oh and if he treats his parents or children or animals badly, that’s a big turn-off for me. Also if he is really cheap! Yuck!

  5. rrc says:

    He has to have a good relationship with his kids, parents, siblings. That, to me, says a lot about a man. I also like a man who will stick up for me if another man says or does something derogatory toward me. My ex-husband never spoke up for me, I hated it.

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