When women talk about their potential lovers, there is always one sentence that keeps on coming back: “He’s too nice for me“. Generally, this isn’t a good thing for the guy, because it just means that he will never make her heart beat. Recently, I was in a bar with some friends, and sitting next to us, there was a group of young women commenting on pictures they took with their mobile. One of them showed to the others the picture of a man she has just met, and asked them what they thought about him. One of them replied this:”He looks too nice for you. I know you like when they’re a little bit rough“.
Does it mean we like bad guys and that nice ones will always finish last? In fact, I’m not sure about that. The bad guys will treat you badly, so I really doubt any sensible woman on this planet would choose that option if they aren’t masochistic. Personally, I think this has more to do with accessibility. Let’s take an example. If you have the choice between a good-looking guy that seems very accessible to any woman and a not so good-looking guy with a sensible personality, which one would you take? When I ask this question around me, I often get the second option. “I don’t want a guy easy to catch. This would only mean that he would be easy to catch by every woman, and this is a major turn off for me “ U.,31, said. “I don’t like when it’s too easy. For me, a guy hard to get is the biggest reward you can receive when he finally yields to your advances. But it doesn’t mean that I’m attracted to men that are unreachable to me, I just like when they offer a bit of resistance. That would mean that other women would struggle to get him, and this aspect is comforting me” R., 35, said. “I would probably take the first guy if I just want to have sex”I., 30, said.
So, let’s extrapolate this to the kindness. When I ask around me what women prefer between a really nice guy and a mean guy, I always get the first answer. However, some told me this: “If he’s too nice, too available for me, this would dampen a little bit my preference”. “Being too nice is a sign he’s a little masochistic, so it won’t work with me. I need a man that offers me a little opposition, and doesn’t say yes to everything I want”K., 31 said. “If he’s too nice, for me, this is suspect” O., 34, said.
Besides, we never like when it’s too easy, don’t we?