broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, sex, thoughts, wacky, women

Chase the devil

Ron Jeremy

 When women talk about their potential lovers, there is always one sentence that keeps on coming back: “He’s too nice for me“. Generally, this isn’t a good thing for the guy, because it just means that he will never make her heart beat. Recently, I was in a bar with some friends, and sitting next to us, there was a group of young women commenting on pictures they took with their mobile. One of them showed to the others the picture of a man she has just met, and asked them what they thought about him. One of them replied this:”He looks too nice for you. I know you like when they’re a little bit rough“.

Does it mean we like bad guys and that nice ones will always finish last? In fact, I’m not sure about that. The bad guys will treat you badly, so I really doubt any sensible woman on this planet would choose that option if they aren’t masochistic. Personally, I think this has more to do with accessibility. Let’s take an example. If you have the choice between a good-looking guy that seems very accessible to any woman and a not so good-looking guy with a sensible personality, which one would you take?  When I ask this question around me, I often get the second option. “I don’t want a guy easy to catch. This would only mean that he would be easy to catch by every woman, and this is a major turn off for me U.,31, said. “I don’t like when it’s too easy. For me, a guy hard to get is the biggest reward you can receive when he finally yields to your advances. But it doesn’t mean that I’m attracted to men that are unreachable to me, I just like when they offer a bit of resistance. That would mean that other women would struggle to get him, and this aspect is comforting me” R., 35, said.  “I would probably take the first guy if I just want to have sex”I., 30, said.

So, let’s extrapolate this to the kindness. When I ask around me what women prefer between a really nice guy and a mean guy, I always get the first answer. However, some told me this: “If he’s too nice, too available for me, this would dampen a little bit my preference”. “Being too nice is a sign he’s a little masochistic, so it won’t work with me. I need a man that offers me a little opposition, and doesn’t say yes to everything I want”K., 31 said. “If he’s too nice, for me, this is suspect” O., 34, said.

Besides, we never like when it’s too easy, don’t we?


8 thoughts on “Chase the devil

  1. I like the nice guy and don’t care a lot what he looks like. My preference is not for the chase, but for the capture. That said, I have certainly caught “nice” guys who wound total schmucks.

  2. I think you’re confusing nice with spineless. I’d like to consider myself as a nice guy with some assertiveness. From both sides in any relationship I get into I want each of us to care for one another even if that involves giving one a kick up the arse occasionally.

    You’re getting back to trust in relationships. I was involved with dance in college so I was surrounded with women and most of the time they were in my arms doing moves or we had our bodies pressed close to each other. This doesn’t mean that I was accessible or likely to cheat. It was just what I did. Any girl who goes out with me has got to realise that I’m a nice guy but I’m my own man. I am willing to change certain things for her but not everything.

  3. dontdatethatdude says:

    I agree with Cricket, Spineless is unappealing altogether as if he seems hard-up, just begging for a relationship, like he would be with anyone. I prefer to be pursued, but in a good way with a decent man who has character, morals and who can carry-on his life with or without a woman in it. Then I know he wants me for me, not just so he has someone. What I have found generally though, is as long as I am not too available the man is intrigued once I become involved and willing to be exclusive then the guy loses interest and I become in some ways the pursuer. I hate that!

  4. Cricket, in the end, it’s always what charachter he has that will prevail over his looks.

    Hi Red Wine Gums,
    Nice isn’t synonym of spineless. But too nice, yes. It’s nice from you you don’t change everything for her 🙂 Thanks for stopping by.

    DDTD, of course, it’s always better when we get pursued than if we chase ourselves. I also hate that. But it depends on the pursue itself. If he doesn’t act like a gentleman, well, it’s useless.

  5. Hi houstonsocialbutterfly, you may be right about this, but sometimes, it isn’t that simple. Some friends of mine are trapped in a relationship with bad guys, although they are the sweetest women I’ve ever known. Come back any time.

  6. Whenever I hear “He’s too nice for me,” it’s usually an excuse, because the woman doesn’t like the potential lover enough. I myself have used that phrase all too often. 🙂

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