broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

I’ll kill her…

… She stole my future when she took you away

Recently, one of my single friends told me about her odd experience she had with a married man. “I get invited a lot by married couples, and usually, I’m the only one who’s single in those dinners with couples. Everyone comes accompanied, except me. But you cannot imagine how much messages I receive after such dinners coming from the husbands” she explained. “Once, I was invited to one of my colleagues’ party. There were five couples present there and me. The day after, one of the husbands sent me an email telling me how gorgeous I was and that he would like to see me in private. I never answered to this email” she said. “If I really wanted, I could have the choice between many lovers among those married men. But I can’t do that. Even if I have no special bonds with some of the women who invited me, I don’t think it would be fair to ruin their marriage. I want to get married too, and I don’t want this to happen to me” she added.

It’s honorable to her to think that way. Unfortunately, not every woman would follow her example. “My ex-husband met his slut in a party. I knew her because we went to high school together, and she knew he was married with me. But that didn’t stop her from stealing him away from me. I knew she was the one to make her move, because some of my friends assisted to that party. She kept on teasing him and he eventually yielded to her advances. My friends saw everything that night, they left together. Two days after, he told me he wanted to divorce because he met the woman of his life. I was devastated” H., 35, said. “She was his secretary. He spent more time with her than with me. And I knew she always dressed sexy, with big cleavages and mini-skirts. I had to admit I didn’t see it coming, though it was obvious. He left me after five years of marriage to live with her” G., 34, said.

You can’t avoid this to happen, unless you decide to follow your man everywhere he goes. But then, he would get bored with you. Too much of a thing makes you sick of it. Besides, suspecting your man all the time can really do a lot of damages on your relationship.

Is there a way to prevent your man to go away with another woman? Well, first, it depends on your man. If he’s a womanizer, chances are he will never change. Once a player, always a player. Then, remember that it’s not because you’re married that you have necessarily found your perfect match. The statistics for divorce is a good proof of that. Besides, if you’re Jennifer Aniston, how can you compete with Angelina Jolie?  Finally, as my friend observed, we seem to take our relationship for granted and don’t put much effort in it. “Much of the married couples I met haven’t had this great connection. In one dinner I had, I clearly saw that love was dead between one couple. Each time she was talking, he was just shrugging his shoulders like if he thought what she said was stupid. So, it wasn’t a big surprise when he tried to flirt with me”  she said.

Yet,  it’s hard to digest being left for someone else, especially if this person steal the one you love.  “I would understand if he told me he met someone else and that he couldn’t control his feelings, but I won’t understand if a slut just takes him away from me by provoking him. I would want to take my revenge” B., 32, said.

So, do you agree with B.?


11 thoughts on “I’ll kill her…

  1. whatigotsofar says:

    I agree with the above commenter. I’m not worth taking revenge. But this being the second blog I’ve read this morning about marital infidelity kind of makes me wonder. Is there something in the water? Is it that time of the year? Why the hell do some married men get the sleep with multiple women while single guys like me are stuck being alone on Saturday nights? Its not fair. Share the wealth dammit!

  2. I think that it depends. It would take someone very together to react rationally to finding out about infidelity. It is always easier to blame the other woman as well…

    However I agree that if a man had a tendency to cheat then that will not change. And if a man has a propensity towards married men, that too, will not change.

  3. Hi Jewaira, sometimes, revenge can help you digest this painful experience. Thanks for stopping by.

    WIGSF, apparently, the period around Christmas is the one where couples have the most chances to divorce. Maybe that’s an explanation. Besides, one of my friends, who’s cynical, always says that the good ones are taken. This would explain why married man get laid more often.

    Stardust, indeed, it’s always easier to blame the other woman. You’re right about whose fault it is in this scenario.

  4. I think if he’s that ripe for the picking, let him go. I’ve found that guys don’t want to work on their relationships, that it is easier to start over. I’m just waiting around for the next round of divorces to prove my point.

  5. Cricket, it’s true that there’s no point retaining a man that just doesn’t want to stay with you. It’s easier to start over a new relationship, but not for everyone. Even for some men.

  6. dontdatethatdude says:

    This is a really heated issue for me. 1. Because I think women should stick together and not betray other women by sleeping with their husbands. 2. Because I think if men didn’t have those options they would have to actually work on the marriage after the “thrill” wore off, rather than just running to someone else, only to have the same pattern emerge! I think I have one solution that would partially solve the problem or at least make cheating harder and exact revenge at the same time. It would be if you could sue the woman and your spouse for monetary damages you incurred as a result of their cheating. Of course I suppose I already know I have my revenge because she is stuck with him . . . and she will know he did it with her and can do it again!

  7. DDTD, you’re right. If men knew it wouldn’t be that easy to leave with another woman, they wouldn’t do it. Suing may be the answer to this problem. But it really depends. I know couples who form on the ruins of their past relationships and that work. You can be unhappy in your marriage. Yet, for sluts who steal the husband of another woman, I don’t feel any compassion for them. Nor for the men who yielded to them. Besides, marriage shouldn’t be taken so lightly.

  8. dontdatethatdude says:

    You said a mouthful of truths there! LOL. Marriage should not be taken so lightly and should not be gotten out of so easily, although for some I guess it’s not…The only ones who seem to benefit are the lawyers! 🙂

  9. Shae says:

    Lawyers! Love that one. Hehe.

    My input is if someone decided to be all sleazy about getting it on with someone else just because they’re single or what have you (very available) slut. Then it wasn’t meant to be and if it leads to a divorce. Then that person just saved you years of pain because clearly, there was no real love or trust in that relationship. Besides, she might get screwed in the end too because it’s like what dontdatethatdude said, “she will know he did it with her and can do it again!”

    As for revenge, I don’t see what the point would be because maybe they will realize that it was a blessing after all. 😀

  10. DDTD, haha! I could never be a lawyer, just for that reason 🙂

    Shae, if she’s a real slut, she will dump his ass for another man. So, this is how you can get your revenge on him too.

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