celibacy, humor, life, love, men, miscellaneous, rant, relationships, sex, thoughts, women

Bullet for my valentine


So, there’s only less than two weeks now separating us from the crappiest most romantic day of the year: Valentine’s Day. I was reading recently a magazine explaining how you can break away from the classical and boring dinner with candles where you have nothing to say and where you end you sleeping in front of the TV because you’re too tired to do anything else. And on that day, don’t expect to “burst your panties” as one of my colleagues delicately says.  Basically, the journalist in that magazine described four original ideas to spend your Valentine’s Day with the one you love.  The first sums up like this: dress yourself as you were living in the 19th century and invade a cafe that will be the decorum for your decaying love story. The second one: go ice skating together, again dressed, but this time, in line with the 80’s and those colors that just make you want to commit suicide. The third one: write to him an anonymous letter revealing your love (??). And the last one: go to a gentleman’s club together. Since Valentine’s Day is ridiculous, why don’t we turn into fool that day?
Some couples I know use this particular day to do a sexual race. “Generally, we choose the mangiest bar in our neighborhood and get drunk. After that, we try to fuck everywhere we can, but not in our apartment, and usually in public places” A., 34, said. “I just try to imitate Linda Fiorentino in the Last seduction but only with my man” H., 32, said. “We just go to a sex shop to buy new sex toys” M., 35, said.
Next to what the journalist said, this seems a little bit more fun.
And if you’re single on that day? Well, there are plenty of “No Valentine” parties. If you’re a man, just comfort yourself by thinking about this: at least, you won’t endure the pain of watching the Hugh Grant movies marathon, like one of my friends experienced. If you’re a woman, if you’re into chippendales, why don’t you rent the services of a stripper on that day? If you’re not (something I can understand), use your imagination. “With all my single friends, we organize a party where we offer to each other the gift a man would never think about, like make up, clothes, …” admits J., 28.
So, do you hate Valentine’s Day?

11 thoughts on “Bullet for my valentine

  1. Sexual race, incredible. Sounds exciting for this couple.

    I do hate it when they sell over-priced flowers. I guess it’s the annual part that makes the brain cells die because you can’t do the same thing every year.

  2. whatigotsofar says:

    If you really love somebody, you don’t need St. Valentine’s Day to show your love. You do it everyday.

  3. WIGSF, yes, it’s true. That why I don’t like Valentine’s Day.

    Cricket, it’s just a simple day. Though it is hard to bear the multiple heart shaped box, candy stuffs,… surrounding this period.

  4. dontdatethatdude says:

    I got married on Valentines Day, how stupid was that? I guess I believed it would last until we died so I never thought that after we divorced every Valentines Day would be a reminder of my marriage that didn’t work out. I guess you could say I hate it! 🙂

  5. I hate Valentine’s Day. I either feel left out or crapped on, because even when I did have a boyfriend on VD, they almost always bailed out on me ON the day itself. Except for the year where my Valentine’s dinner was from Jack in the Box.

  6. DDTD, oh, then it’s OK 😉

    Shae, hallmarks holidays suck 🙂

    Hi Jennifer,
    a dinner at Jack in the box? At least it wasn’t overpriced… Thanks for stopping by.

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