broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, miscellaneous, relationships, sex, thoughts, women

Lightning crashes

 

Beauty alone doesn’t make you necessary attractive. You can be beautiful but gross and stupid, and there’s a little chance you will attract someone. Besides, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Take for example Penelope Cruz. This actress is beautiful, but some men I know don’t find her particularly attractive, some even find her ugly. When it comes to love and attraction, there are tons of details that come into the equation. Some of my friends told me they trust their guts on this. “It’s all about the chemistry. I remember once this guy I met in a bar, who was really handsome, but when I got close to him, I realized I couldn’t feel anything for him. It was weird” said one of my friends. “All my previous relationships started like this: as soon as I touched my ex’s, I could immediately feel the desire filling me and me liquefying from the inside. This is my ignition for every relationship. If I don’t feel this, there’s no chance I will change my mind for a man. And this isn’t linked to his looks. Of course, I do admit I make a selection based on the looks, but it’s not my only criteria” another one said.

The connection can’t necessarily be only physical. It’s best when you have the intellectual and sexual one together. And this is how you can end up with a guy you didn’t find attractive at the first sight. “We were in the same class when we were in high school, but we didn’t talk that much together, until our last day in high school. For a reason, I ended up talking to him for the first time, and I realized I really got along with him. When he touched me accidentally, I could find the heat between us. I didn’t find him handsome, but the chemistry between us was incredible. He’s my soul mate” J., 30, said.

So here’s the question of the day: would you consider dating someone you have a great connection with if he/she doesn’t appeal to you?

Advertisements
Standard
broken heart, life, love, men, miscellaneous, relationships, sex, thoughts, women

Fix you

While some women look for a savior, others look for a man they can rescue. Some of us have this savior attitude that can ruin a relationship because we encourage the one we love to become overly dependent on us. I met once this woman who told me about her love life and how she would fall in love with men who all had that common point: they were vulnerable. “My ex’s didn’t lookalike physically, but psychologically, they all underwent a difficult period in their life. I fell in love with them when they were down. One was drinking, another one was suffering from a nervous breakdown, another one had financial difficulties and didn’t know how to get out of it. Their despair had such a powerful attraction on me. Each time, I thought I could save them. I offered them my help, but in the end, it always turned into the same scenario. They let me take all the important decisions in their life and completely relied on me for everything. I morphed into their mother, and I really felt uncomfortable with that. That’s why I had to leave them” she said. “I know I can’t help falling in love with this kind of guys. It’s just winning on me every time. Deep inside me, I have this St-Bernard attitude” she added.

One of my friends told me she also has a soft spot for “weak” personalities.“It’s not that I have a savior attitude, it’s just that I want a man who can understand I have ups but also downs in my life, and who can comfort me when I’m down. I have understood that those who underwent difficulties in their life have a better chance to have a true connection with me. One of my ex’s was the complete opposite of that, really uptight about everything, and when I lost my mother, he couldn’t understand why I was crying all the time, mourning my mom’s loss. For me, it’s important to have a man who’s sensitive” she said.

When you fall in love with a man/ woman who undergoes a tough period in his/her life, you face a list of risks. First, you can end up with a total loser. Second, with someone who will hang on you like a leech. Third, a really egocentric person that won’t care about your problem. Finally, you can get dumped because you served him/her as a trigger to feel better. But you have to make a difference between a temporary period or something that’s recurrent in his/her life. For example, we could all be fired from our job because of the difficult economic conditions of our company. But some people managed to get fired from every job they take. Likewise, financial problems can happen to all of us, but some of us make this problem permanent and don’t mind living on your salary.

Besides, why do we feel this need to help/save the other, while sometimes they don’t ask for that?

So, have you got a savior attitude in you? Or do people who have problems make you run away?

Standard
celibacy, humor, life, love, men, miscellaneous, relationships, sex, thoughts, wacky, women

I was made for loving you…

… you were made for loving me

Once, with my friends, we established a list of the men who are likely to get laid a lot, and also the ones who will break your heart because they have too much temptations around them. Here it is.

1) The musician.

Gene Simmons Lemmy Kilmister

These two men have slept with thousands of women. And no, they weren’t desperate. In a biography of Lemmy, I read that girls were already flocking around him when he played guitar in school. For Gene Simmons, maybe you probably watched this video circulating  on the Internet where he’s banging a Swedish model. When they become famous (and even if they’re not, believe me, go to a classical concert and you will see), they have tons of groupies who dream only about sleeping with them. For the DJ, it’s the same thing. One of my friends dated a DJ once, and she was mad at him all the time because he gets all the ladies’ attention when he’s mixing. She left him because she found out he cheated on her on many occasions.

2) The teacher

In my high school, the only teacher who wasn’t a priest was the gym teacher, and he was rumored to choose each year a student in her last year to do some gym with him. He was athletic and quite good-looking, and had girls flocking around him all the time. When you think about it, it’s the best job to get laid: you get to renew your supply of female students each year, and you get only young chicks (or the hot female teacher). One of my male friends, who’s a teacher, told me he finds it really hard to stay composed when he sees all the young and beautiful in his class.

3) The doctor.

One of my friends, who’s a nurse, told me about this story. There was a handsome surgeon in the hospital she worked for that was known to be a true Casanova. He was married, but  he used to flirt a lot with his nurses and his female patients. He had a huge turnover of women in his life. His wife was too busy working for a NGO abroad to notice anything.

4) The politician.

Bill Clinton

The episode of the cigar and the intern in the White House is notorious for this man, who is also known for having a long list of mistresses. Politicians have a huge power of seduction on some women because they have the power. They also have their groupies, like a rock star.

Of course, not all musicians, doctors, teachers, politicians are like that. But if they’re a seducer in their soul, these jobs are a good source of opportunity for them.

So, would you date one of these guys? Or for the men reading this, do you envy them?

Standard
broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, miscellaneous, rant, relationships, sex, thoughts, women

Toxic heart

When I was in College, I remember being terrorized by some of my teachers, especially when we had oral examinations. One of them was a true misogynist, and I knew I couldn’t go to his exam in a skirt too short nor without stockings to cover my legs. One female student I knew had to endure the humiliating experience to fail her exam because of that. And she got served with this little sentence: “Why don’t you go down on the street? That’s where you are supposed to be, not in here“. Another one was way nicer with women, but he was known to make indecent proposals to his female students taking their exam in his office. He’s married with one of the members of our government, BTW. Another one was a pervert who kept on playing with the zipper of his trouser while one of my friends was passing her exam. If I ask this question around me, I’m sure people would have in mind at least one professor they had who had a twisted mind.

The truth is, apart from the gender discrimination and indecent proposals, most of the male teachers I had when I was in College weren’t known to be particularly kind, selfless, or just warm. Most of them were arrogant and condescending. But for some of them, it was understandable. I remember my English professor who was reknown to be a true terror with everyone. I was one of the few students that dared to go assisting his class, and I got treated by him with much respect for that. Others were just mean without any good reason.

My ex-best friend is now in the team of researchers of his university and has a good chance to become one day a College professor. And just by knowing how bad and awful he could be just when we were 18, I guess he could be a true bastard with his students. After all, our teenage years determine a lot what we would become later. Back then, we used to get along well because we liked nobody. I’ve completely changed from what I was when I was younger, but as my friends told me about him, he just followed that path. What I did to him, what some other people did to him didn’t help him raise his opinion on the human being. Apparently, he’s still not married now, and has no one in his life. I suspect he just threw himself in his studies because the other aspects of his life weren’t that satisfying.

Most of my terror teachers had that common point. At over 50, some of them never married and did try unsuccessfully (in some cases) to flirt with some of their female students. They had this conviction they were superior with their intelligence. Yet, I feel sorry for them.  And I hope my ex-friend doesn’t turn into such a monster, but I’m afraid it’s already too late.

So, have you ever been terrorized by one of your teachers? And have you ever received indecent proposals from one of them?

Standard
life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, wacky, women

An overwhelming moment

hug.jpg

Do you like to be hugged? When I ask this question around me, I’m often surprised by the answers. Most of my friends don’t like to be hugged, including by their man. They told me they don’t like much those displays of affection. “I’ve had many men in my life, and I never hugged them. I find this really weird” said one of them. “It’s not that I don’t like to be hugged, but I don’t like the overwhelming heat that comes from the hug. Especially when we are in bed. I don’t like when he comes near to me during the night, I can feel his heat, and this really bothers me as I need to feel cold to sleep”  another one said.

Why don’t we like that? I guess this has something to do with our education. Most of my friends allergic to hugs told me that when they were kids, they didn’t receive that much displays of affection coming from their parents. “My parents got divorced when I was five, and my mom took custody of my sister and I. But she entered a depression after her divorce  and barely showed us any affection. She was too  focused on her own problems. I know that most of my inhibitions come from that period of my life” H., 31, said. “My parents were always there for me when I was young, they would have done everything to bring us happiness, but they weren’t simply not that affectionate with us” J., 30 , said.

Not all my friends are like that. Some of them admit they appreciate being hugged, but only by the people that really count into their life. “If it’s my family or my man, it’s OK for me. But if it ‘s a total stranger, I would find it weird. I don’t like when people break my circle of intimacy when they’re not invited in” I., 31, said.  I. is probably not the ideal candidate for the free hugs day… “I like to feel hugged by my man, especially after a long day at work. For me, it’s like all my worries fade away in his arms” P.,29, said. “I hug everybody when I’m drunk. It’s a little embarrassing for my friends…”O., 34, said.

So,  would you mind if a total stranger hugs you in the street?

Standard
broken heart, humor, life, love, men, miscellaneous, relationships, thoughts, women

You got served

What do you do when you were cheated on? Do you choose dignity or revenge? Obviously, these women chose the second option.

pissed1.jpg

awomenscorned.jpg

54-billboard2.jpg

car1.jpg

poorscottkelly.jpg

Revenge can be so good…

One of my colleagues experienced the humiliation of seeing his future ex-wife dropping all his clothes in the parking lot of our company. This is still a subject of conversation in my newsroom, even if it happened almost 10 years from now.

Besides, some unfaithful women can get served like that. One of my friends’ cousin got uncovered by her man. He was so pissed that he threw all her belongings through the window and painted a huge SLUT on her car.

So, if you were cheated on, would you take your revenge like that?

Standard
broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Bizarre love triangle

 Recently, one of my friends told me she went to a party where she got kissed by a guy she knows a little bit because he’s her roommate’s friend. In fact, he’s a little more than that to her friend, because she sleeps with him. “She’s seeing him but he’s with another woman that just keeps on playing with his heart. It’s been two years now she’s dating him, hoping he will dump the other woman for her, and I see her really desperate about this situation, although I have the impression he’s fooling her. She thinks he’s unhappy and wishing for something that will never happen with the other one, but he’s just using her to fill the gap the other leaves each time she’s not in his apartment with him. I feel so sad for her, because I know he’s not true to her” she explained.

It’s never easy, when you’re stuck in a love triangle, to be left secondary feels. But hope (and the other’s lies) help us not to think too much about this and to live for the experience of it. But how can we end up in a love triangle like that?

I started dating S. when my ex came back into my life. We ended up seeing each other again, even if I didn’t broke up with S. I couldn’t do that. I was in love with both of them, and it was impossible to choose from one another. My ex was aware I had someone in my life, and that didn’t bother him. But S. didn’t know about all of this. This love triangle lasted six months, until S. discovered everything and left me.  My ex also met another woman two weeks later, and he left me also. I was devastated” explained G., 34.

I knew he was married, but he said their marriage were on the rocks, so I had the hope he would divorce soon. But he never did, and instead, I had to share him with his wife and his family. He wasn’t available that much for me, and I ended up leaving him because I had enough” K., 40, said.

For a reason, some people choose to ignore important details about the object of their affection like for instance they are involved in a relationship or themselves are committed in a relationship. It happens because either we fear commitment, or because we’re lost in our feelings. In the last case, this is where you can end up with a severe broken heart.

Have you ever been in a love triangle like that? And how did it happen?

Standard