broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, miscellaneous, relationships, thoughts, women

A shining light

The best revenge you can have on you ex is to look good“. This advice seems shallow, but if you really think about it, not really. Most of the women I know told me that if they have to cross roads again with their ex’s, those they haven’t seen for a long time (over ten years), they wish their ex’s would find them still attractive, or even more attractive than when they were ten years younger. This is especially true when, as a teenager, you had a bit of a problem with acne/ weight/ looks. “When we were dating, we were 16 year old. At that time, I wore glasses that I hated and had a bit of excess weight. I wasn’t exactly what we called a true beauty. But now, I got rid of my spectacles thanks to a laser surgery and lost all those excess kilos” H., 30, recalls. “I met my high school ex last year at one of my friends’ wedding, and I was really happy when he just looked at me as if he was stunned. The first words he had towards me was wow, you look so great. I couldn’t feel more flattered” she said.

This takes a whole new dimension when you were dumped like a old sock or for another woman. “I got dumped by him many years ago for another chick. I knew a few months ago that they have broken up. I decided that if I saw him again, I would make him beg to take him back. And fortunately for me, I got this occasion when I got back in the town we used to live. I slept with him, and then disappeared for good. I had a boost of confidence after that” P., 32, admits. “He dumped me eleven years ago and said that I wasn’t pretty enough. Two years ago, I met him in a club where he just told me he made a mistake and that I was really, really beautiful. I don’t know if he was sincere with me, but I just feel I had my revenge on him”K., 31, said.

Of course, this kind of situation doesn’t happen all the time. “Compared to what I was when I was 16, I have put on a little weight now, and I would hate to see my ex’s from that period” N., 29, said. “My biggest fear is to bump into my ex now, and noticing he’s married with a beautiful lady while I’m still desperate to find my prince charming” M., 31, said.

So, would you appreciate to see your ex you haven’t seen for a long time and to hear him/her saying you look great now?



9 thoughts on “A shining light

  1. whatigotsofar says:

    I don’t like running into an ex but when I do, I like hearing that I look good.
    If I know I will be running into an ex somewhere, I will make the effort to dress a little better than I normally would. I would also try to flash some money around. Show off the snazzy car. Stuff like that.
    And not just with an ex. Women who shot me down too.
    I’m vindictive.

  2. WIGSF, unfortunately, these encounters often happened when we expect them the least, and often when we’re not that well dressed 🙂

  3. dontdatethatdude says:

    My goal is to come to a place where I don’t care what my X thinks, where I have no emotional response whatsoever. Lofty I know, but for me that is the best revenge…

  4. I routinely see my ex-husband because of our son and I couldn’t care less what he thinks. My ex-fiance complimented me often, so he’d say I look good no matter what. One especially pleasing exchange, eyes only, was with my HS boyfriend at our 20th HS reunion. I’d gained weight since HS, like most (but had lost to get down to that), but I looked 20 instead of 38. The sparkles in his eyes told the story. I still had a piece of his heart and he mine, as it had nothing to do with revenge or hard feelings, although I did have them way back them.

  5. DDTD, for sure, feeling completely detached from your X is the best revenge you can get on him.

    Cricket, for some women, it is revenge. For others, it just warms our heart. And it’s better to feel this way.

  6. whatigotsofar says:

    these encounters often happened when we expect them the least, and often when we’re not that well dressed That is very true. But sometimes you know you may run into them at a party or something.

    And I like what DDTD said about being in a place of no longer caring. But I’m a dick. I want my ex to feel bad. There may have been no hard feelings at the breakup. It may have been a rather healthy mutual seperation. But I want her to feel bad, years later as it may be. That makes me a dick, right?

  7. WIGSF, that doesn’t make you necessarily a dick. It proves that you still care about your X. Besides, you’re still young. You will see that with time, this ability of no longer caring will take over, at least, I hope so.

  8. stardust says:

    Receiving a compliment is always a nice feeling for me. I don’t think its revengeful if that comes from an ex. The Ex and the BF have to take me as I come and I think I always look nice and THAT is what counts for me 🙂

  9. Stardust, it depends on your personal stories with your ex. And receiving a compliment depends on who’s saying this. As long as it is sincere,it’s OK.

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