broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, miscellaneous, relationships, thoughts, wacky, women

Cheated heart

What is an asshole? According to wikipedia, this term is a derisive descriptor of an unpleasant person whose acts are either hurtful, self-centered, or abrasive.  Each of us has his own definition of what is an asshole to our eyes, and generally, when you ask the others about that question, people will associate this word with a particular person they know. Some of the women I met use this term a lot towards their ex’s, or a least, one of them.

“J., my ex, is the biggest asshole on this planet. He would never lift his finger to help anybody. For example, once, we were waiting to cross the road, and an old lady, obviously not well, was standing next to us. He didn’t propose to help her, this idea even never crossed his mind, and as I was offering her my help, he just told me that I was stupid. I dumped him just after crossing the road”P., 31, said.

G.,  wasn’t my ex, but we had a platonic relationship at work. Relationship is a big word, because basically, he was always after me for helping him in his numerous tasks.  He would never ask me how I was each time he came to my desk, but instead, kept on talking about his problems and asking for help.  I really had the impression he was doing me a favor by choosing me, that he could find another female colleague as well. I should also mention that he never thanked me for anything. Everything revolved around him”U., 34, said.

“P., my ex, is a true asshole. He would never say anything nice to anybody, including me and his family. Each time we went to visit them, he would basically spend the whole evening  criticizing everything  and complaining about his little problems, even if her sister suffered from a cancer. He had never a kind word for her. With me, I knew that I should complain because the result would be he told me to stop whining about it. He was a really spoiled kid, this would explain that”L., 31, said.

“For me, an asshole is the one who won’t pay the spousal support to his ex-wife who’s taking charge of their three children while spending all his money with his new conquest.  This is my cousin, unfortunately”O., 31, said.

The list can be really long. Some women also describe as asshole “those who push you to abort” or “who won’t recognize your child, saying he wasn’t his“, but also those “who know they’ve got AIDS but won’t tell you about it and refuse to put a condom“. The real asshole won’t recognize he’s one and won’t show any remorse.

So, what’s an asshole to you?


11 thoughts on “Cheated heart

  1. whatigotsofar says:

    “who know they’ve got AIDS but won’t tell you about it and refuse to put a condom”
    That’s not an asshole. That’s a criminal. That’s a murderer. I don’t know the laws in your land, but in mine, that’s manslaughter. They lock you up for that shit.

    And just so you know, that can swing both ways. Its not just men who are infected and infecting, there are women too.

  2. whatigotsofar says:

    But to answer your question, wikipedia is pretty much right about the definition for asshole. That’s how I’d describe it (and myself).

  3. WIGSF, actually, I don’t know if there’s any rule against those who contaminate the others with AIDS against their knowledge in my country. We have unfortunately way more important problems to deal with at the moment. But you’re right, it’s not only a male problem.

  4. Oh, stardust, I wasn’t talking about minimizing AIDS, but in my country, politicals are focused on one thing right now: the split of our country. All other decisions are quite secondary to them. Of course, AIDS problems are more important.
    And you’re welcome 🙂

  5. dontdatethatdude says:

    Not to minimize “assholes”, but I do believe there’s a little asshole in all of us, pardon the pun. I agree with the definition you posted and I have used the word to describe an X or 2 in the past. I also use the word asshole when describing careless drivers. I think I may have been called and asshole at times, but no one would say it to my face. 🙂

  6. DDTD, indeed, there’s a little asshole in all of us. Speaking of irony and assholes, I just finished writing this post when I received a call from D. asking me to go lunch with him and a bunch of colleagues. I was thrilled and acted like a douche with him. But he deserves no better behavior with me 😉

  7. whatigotsofar says:

    little asshole in all of us
    I’m kicking myself for not coming up with that one first. Dammit!

  8. Martha says:

    An asshole is the man who cheats his beautiful and nice wife for a ugly and married woman with more lovers than him.

  9. Hi Martha,
    The man who does that isn’t necessarily an asshole, just an idiot who can’t appreciate what he has.
    Thanks for stopping by.

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