Recently, an old friend of mine I haven’t seen for a while got in touch with me thanks to facebook. She was a close friend of a frienemy of mine, who hated me because of the link I had with her ex. My friend told me they have broken up and that she got married with one of his best friends. I guess her ex (and my ex-friend) must have been less than thrilled by the news. But since I cut completely all contacts with him, I would never know.
They started dating ten years ago just two weeks after I kissed him and almost slept with him while I was drunk (the cocktail with alcohol and antibiotics doesn’t work so well with me). I didn’t want to pursue a relationship with him after that, but apparently, he didn’t think that way. Instead, I started dating another guy one week after. I learned years later he was devastated I just chose that option. My friend told me her friend and him stayed together for three years, and that he was really awful with her. She also said that he treated her as a substitute, because her friend had the impression he only loved the thought of her. They broke up because she found out he was cheating on her.
I feel really bad for her but yet glad she could move on and found happiness with another man. Somehow, I feel a little bit responsible for the failure of her relationship, because I turned her ex into a monster. When we were friends, my mom and my BFF thought we would get married together. I just loved him as a brother and was really close to him. My BFF warned me he wanted more than my friendship at that time. Once, we went to a party, and he started to shout at my ex, saying he was an idiot. It turned into a fight, and I was really mad after him for that incident. When I was 16, I was sent to California for three months for a cultural exchange, and when I came back to my country, all my friends told me he was miserable without me. I knew at that time he was in love with me, and instead of taking my distance with him, I just continued my so-called friendship with him. Until that kiss. I was a monster with him, I completely ignored his feelings and acted like a real douche. I guess he got bitter when I rejected him. When he started dating her, we took our distance because she didn’t like me. She was mad at me each time she saw me talking to him. When I think about it, he jumped into this relationship a bit too quickly. She served as a rebound for him.
I really believe we aren’t born as true douchebag/ bastard/ asshole, but we become it as the result of our failed experience with the others.
Do you think being a monster with your ex could transform him/her into one?