life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, wacky, women

An overwhelming moment


hug.jpg

Do you like to be hugged? When I ask this question around me, I’m often surprised by the answers. Most of my friends don’t like to be hugged, including by their man. They told me they don’t like much those displays of affection. “I’ve had many men in my life, and I never hugged them. I find this really weird” said one of them. “It’s not that I don’t like to be hugged, but I don’t like the overwhelming heat that comes from the hug. Especially when we are in bed. I don’t like when he comes near to me during the night, I can feel his heat, and this really bothers me as I need to feel cold to sleep”  another one said.

Why don’t we like that? I guess this has something to do with our education. Most of my friends allergic to hugs told me that when they were kids, they didn’t receive that much displays of affection coming from their parents. “My parents got divorced when I was five, and my mom took custody of my sister and I. But she entered a depression after her divorce  and barely showed us any affection. She was too  focused on her own problems. I know that most of my inhibitions come from that period of my life” H., 31, said. “My parents were always there for me when I was young, they would have done everything to bring us happiness, but they weren’t simply not that affectionate with us” J., 30 , said.

Not all my friends are like that. Some of them admit they appreciate being hugged, but only by the people that really count into their life. “If it’s my family or my man, it’s OK for me. But if it ‘s a total stranger, I would find it weird. I don’t like when people break my circle of intimacy when they’re not invited in” I., 31, said.  I. is probably not the ideal candidate for the free hugs day… “I like to feel hugged by my man, especially after a long day at work. For me, it’s like all my worries fade away in his arms” P.,29, said. “I hug everybody when I’m drunk. It’s a little embarrassing for my friends…”O., 34, said.

So,  would you mind if a total stranger hugs you in the street?

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34 thoughts on “An overwhelming moment

  1. theoris says:

    Absolutely 🙂

    I LOVE hugs. And I find nothing more comfortable than lying with arms wrapped around me and being so near and warm someone as possible, by someone I love very much. Best when it’s THE love off course.

    What kind of weird people are these you’ve found? Hehe, I think I’m addicted to cuddling.

  2. dontdatethatdude says:

    I wouldn’t mind unless he stunk or was really gross or drunk, you know what I mean? I don’t think a total strange would just come up and hug me, but if they did I would think it was very unusual and I would tell others about it! LOL

  3. I don’t want hugs from strangers or acquaintances. I do want hugs from family and my man. It has nothing to do with how I was raised. It has to do with privacy and body space.

  4. whatigotsofar says:

    I’m not big on the hug, I used to be, now I’m not. I can’t really explain the change or when it happened.

    My brother’s fiancee, she’s a hugger. She’s always coming upto me and trying to give me a hug. I’ve tried all sorts of duck and run maneuvers, some have worked, some haven’t. I still can’t quite figure out why she wants to hug somebody who has repeatedly told her “I’m not a hugger.”

    If a complete stranger came upto me and asked for a hug I would probably say “No thanks I’m good.” The complete oddity of being asked such a question from a stranger would immediately turn me off the idea.
    Unless of course, the stranger is a smokin’ hot chick. It would still be weird, but the chance to cop a feel would be too great. I’m no hugger, but I’m just enough of a perv to give it a try.

  5. Hi Theoris, indeed, it’s best when a person you love hugs you.

    DDTD, you mean one of those drunken guys you wrote a post about? Definitely no, that’s for sure 😆

    Cricket, for some people, it’s a question a personal space and limit.

    WIGSF, then try your chance in the next Free hug day, you never know…

    Hi 99ppp, thanks for the link 🙂

  6. Stardust says:

    I really love giving and receiving hugs but I dont know how I would feel getting a hug from a complete stranger.

  7. lovetips4all says:

    In my country where I grew up, I wasn’t used to hugs. But ever since I came to the US, I have had hugs with co-workers and friends, mostly women, and some are men. It was abit odd at first, and gradually I found that I rather like them, and the display of affection doesn’t bother me either. Most hugs are very enjoyable, except some by those who try to press themselves hard on you, and you don’t know them much at all, and that’s abit embarassing.

  8. Raindreamer says:

    Depends on the stranger: either strange or repulsive. But I like being hugged by people I like in general. It is relaxing and calming.

  9. Hey E.!, it’s been so long 🙂 It’s true that you can get used to be hugged, even if you don’t necessarily liked it before. Glad to hear from you again.

    Raindreamer, it really depends on the stranger.

  10. 3lm0l0v3r says:

    there’s nothing more comforting than a hug that is freely given to you by the people you loved the most.. when i’m tired.. the one thing that i always ask for is a hug.. because it releases me from every tension that i feel.. even better than sex.. because a hug is always sincere.. 🙂

  11. me94 says:

    I don’t like to be hugged. I hug my best friends, but only when they “starts” the hug. I think it’s because my parents didn’t hug me so much and stuff like that. But when my parents got divorced, suddenly my father started to hug me when he came. (I’m with him two weekend in a month). I feel most uncomfortable when he does it…

  12. I love sex way way more than hugs you get close and naked with your lady/man.
    and you kiss so deeply……………….. 🙂
    PS i am not drunk.

    Love,
    Seth987

  13. Aisha says:

    hello late me tall u this..
    i have never been huged by any stranger or any boy in my life just from my frenids(girl)and my family .

    i always wishs that in one day will come i will get to hug this boy that i have love to be in save in to his arms … :$

  14. Eric says:

    Hugs

    I am the old school…. It’s was usual for aunties and uncles to hug me..My father was military and we travelled a lot so they were always glad of seeing us.

    It’s all about situation…One says goodmorning (or used too) to people you meet on a regular basis.. One shakes hands in other situations…and one says sorry sir to a policemen who stops you for speeding.

    Of course people now seem more and more to put themselves first second and last…. I try to do things that make people comfortable with my presence some others are just selfish and self opinionated.

    Of course I wont enjoy a hug if you have bad breath BO and a runny nose…but it’s OK to hug a baby with a dirty Nappy?

    Who cares about the sad cases that dont like hugs….there are plenty that do…..

    Eric

  15. ruba says:

    i think that hug is very good

    like if you are sad and you need someone

    the hug will be good that time not a kiss

    and you will love more that one how hugged you cos

    he is the first one you see after a bad bay

  16. Rawan says:

    Hi ,

    as i thing it’s nice to be hugged so that i could feel comfortable and warm . You know it’s a dream to be hugged from someone i love . but i thing that day will never came .

    i hope i will be hugged from my baby 🙂

    Best wishes to all

  17. ruba says:

    i wish that someday i fall in love and my man take me to a new world made of love and fun

    so i can wake up and feel happy not like every day

    i wake up and say : oh my god it’s a boring day

    i want to love someone and he also love me like breathing

    i want hem to take me in his arms and hug me and make my feel so lucky to have hem

    is that to much ????????? (i just want to feel happy)

  18. I don’t think it’d be too weird for a stranger to hug me, but I’d need to have some background information – even if it’s just a color they like – then I can hug them. But it makes sense that some people don’t like hugs from strangers from the breaking of intimacy circle. On the other hand, I don’t think kids grow up with enough affection from their parents.

    My parents were workaholics in my childhood. By the time I was ten, they separated and at the age of twelve, they divorced TWO WEEKS BEFORE Christmas Day – the biggest day of the year in my family. Hugs and kisses became cold until they stopped permanently. I always got my hugs from teachers and friends and their parents. After both my sister’s and my suicide attempts, our dad finally figured it out. He’s been raising us better and with affection. So these days I’m better at receiving them, but I still have to give everyone I have a good conversation with, a hug.

  19. j says:

    hugss…mmm…its a wonderfull feeling to feel that ur loved from pple that u already love !did u ever think or just wonder a little bit…what’s the different when u hug someone ur friend..or he’s from ur family…and between when u hug the one u adore or ur deeply in love with…i think it will be a romantic moment like u will lay all ur tendreness keeped deep inside ur heart.

  20. hi i,am a 26 years old women i didnt live with my pearents like other my mom and dad didn,t give me hugs or kississ and i dont like any one to kiss me or hug me i feel warm or hot or i feel sad and i will cry

  21. cathy says:

    Though I wasn’t hugged as a kid, my parents broke up and so did my grandparents and my love life doesn’t work too well, I love to be hugged and I love to hug. But only those who are really dear to my heart, those who I feel I can trust. I mean – there are hugs and hugs. Some are totally out of this world and I could only wish they lasted longer :-). Others are – those awkward, strange and somehow artificial hugs you don’t really want. But when I’m in love – hugging means whole lot to me. It’s trusting, it’s being safe. And I have great problems showing my affection, I have problems trusting people, and perhaps – that’s why I even more miss hugging. And perhaps the other thing is that – I don’t like this workplace everybody loves everybody hugging. No. It’s intimate and private for me 🙂

  22. Hi… i love to be hug too because sometimes when you are sad, u really need someone to hug u so that u can be calm… Just my thoughts which for me – hug is important –

    Thanks

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