broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, miscellaneous, relationships, sex, thoughts, women

Lightning crashes


Beauty alone doesn’t make you necessary attractive. You can be beautiful but gross and stupid, and there’s a little chance you will attract someone. Besides, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Take for example Penelope Cruz. This actress is beautiful, but some men I know don’t find her particularly attractive, some even find her ugly. When it comes to love and attraction, there are tons of details that come into the equation. Some of my friends told me they trust their guts on this. “It’s all about the chemistry. I remember once this guy I met in a bar, who was really handsome, but when I got close to him, I realized I couldn’t feel anything for him. It was weird” said one of my friends. “All my previous relationships started like this: as soon as I touched my ex’s, I could immediately feel the desire filling me and me liquefying from the inside. This is my ignition for every relationship. If I don’t feel this, there’s no chance I will change my mind for a man. And this isn’t linked to his looks. Of course, I do admit I make a selection based on the looks, but it’s not my only criteria” another one said.

The connection can’t necessarily be only physical. It’s best when you have the intellectual and sexual one together. And this is how you can end up with a guy you didn’t find attractive at the first sight. “We were in the same class when we were in high school, but we didn’t talk that much together, until our last day in high school. For a reason, I ended up talking to him for the first time, and I realized I really got along with him. When he touched me accidentally, I could find the heat between us. I didn’t find him handsome, but the chemistry between us was incredible. He’s my soul mate” J., 30, said.

So here’s the question of the day: would you consider dating someone you have a great connection with if he/she doesn’t appeal to you?


10 thoughts on “Lightning crashes

  1. dontdatethatdude says:

    That’s a great question and in the past I would say, absolutely no! But what I have been doing hasn’t worked so maybe I should see if doing the opposite does! 😉

  2. yes I totally would.a few years ago I would have definitely said NO but experience has taught me that there are much more important things than beauty..

  3. Click on my URL.

    Went on two dates last weekend. One I was interested in and the other… nada.

    BIG difference.

    You can fool your head, but you can’t fool your heart. 🙂

    So my answer is, no. I’d rather choose who I go out with, and not just date someone just because they’re nice. The world has enough nice guys already. I want someone who makes me feel nice. 🙂

    More power! Enjoy reading your blog!

  4. I can’t make myself attracted to someone if I am not, regardless of their personality. Nobody seems to believe me on this (my shrink was giving me the “give it a chance” speech), but 95% of the guys I dated I didn’t like At All Like That, but I “gave them a chance.” And still really, REALLY didn’t want to kiss them.

    Might work with some people, but not me.

  5. gullybogan says:

    How can you have a connection (i.e. romantic connection) with someone if you don’t find them appealing?

    I mean, really?

    By ‘appealing’ i assume that you mean physically attractive.

    What you are describing are ‘friends’, not ‘dates’. And it’s ok to go out for coffee and cake with someone you find witty and charming but ugly as sin; that’s called ‘friendship’. Or ‘pity’.

    All this ‘beauty on the inside’ stuff, it’s hooey. Ugly Betty? She’s not really all that ugly. TV audiences wouldn’t accept that she could be beautiful on the inside if she was truly ugly.

    So what do unappealing ppl do, then?

    The trick is to find someone that you *are* attractive to. Me, i’m not that attractive, in that Hollywood won’t ever be ringing me up to work as a romantic lead, but i’ve found someone whom i *am* attractive to, and she to me, and we’re both happy. Roll credits.

    And Hollywood can go hang.

  6. Hi lara, it’s true that we don’t bother much about the looks when we grow old. Thanks for stopping by

    Shefali, intelligence ( the real one) is a major turn on for me too 🙂

    Hi raven, being attracted to someone requires a lot of criteria, not just intelligence, the looks, … Having a connection with someone is rare. And thanks 🙂

    Jennifer, nobody can force you to feel an attraction for someone if you’re not. It’s like that.

    Hi gullybogan, it’s more complicated than that. Some of my friends told me they changed completely their mind on their man when they established a connection with them by talking and spending time with them. They didn’t find them repelling, but they didn’t feel attracted to them physically at first. The feeling grew as the relationship progressed. It depends on how shallow you are.
    Thanks for stopping by.

  7. Stardust says:

    Yes I would and I have. Just because my first reaction was not of lust did not mean that once I knew him better my attraction as a whole did not increase. There is a lot more to people than meets the eye!

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