broken heart, celibacy, homosexuality, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Long road to ruin

Sometimes, a wrong decision can haunt you for years. How can you know that? Well, it’s simple, maybe your consciousness is torturing you about it all the time. But for some people, a simple wrong decision can have huge aftermaths as they kept on making mistakes after it. An example?

B.,38, is married with two children. He started an affair four years ago with a woman he met during a seminar in another town, and developed with her true bonds each time he went back to this town. She got pregnant with him, and he recognized the child as his. His wife doesn’t know anything about the other woman, while she just wants the situation to stop. He fears that one day, his wife will discover the truth, because she will eventually. It’s impossible not to know. B. can’t choose between the two women of his life because he loved them both, in a different way however.

Another example? “I fell in love with my husband although I knew he was gay. I got pregnant with him very rapidly and he felt obliged to marry me because of that. Deep inside of me, I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t end the relationship to let him live like he wanted. I also know that one day, I will have to let him go, and that our daughter will suffer about my wrong decision”H., 36, said.

I left my studies to become a lawyer to follow that man I met in a bar. We married, but two years later, we decided to divorce because we simply couldn’t get along anymore. And  I  ended up doing little jobs just to earn my life. I hate this situation. I know I should go back to school, but I can’t because my jobs are eating all my time” P., 32, said.

Of course, not all of us suffer from a wrong decision. G., 34, accepted to sacrifice everything in her life to follow her man abroad, including her studies, and she’s happy about it as her love life is on the right track.  L., 35, is living in a triangle relationship with two men who know about the existence of each other and don’t bother about it. “I’m happy like that, I don’t see why I would have to change anything” she said.

I believe you have to be honest with yourself and with the other when you take a “wrong” decision. Besides, some people don’t consider their act as wrong. It’s a question of point of view.

So, have you ever taken a wrong decision that still haunts you today?


7 thoughts on “Long road to ruin

  1. With my ex-fiance, I was guilty of sliding myself clear into entrapment. He scheduled a family cruise for only three months after we began dating. Although I wanted to as I got to know his crazy family, I didn’t break up before or right after because I was greedy, but I wanted to cut ties. Then there was the trip to Costa Rica a few months after that. A few months later, his troubled teenaged daughter tried to commit suicide and he begged me not to be another adult to abandon her. I always wanted to break things off, but the timing wasn’t right. I was greedy, then I just plain got stuck. By then, a year had gone by and I was entrenched. Honestly, though, he was great in the sack and that kept me around.

  2. dontdatethatdude says:

    Ha Ha Ha, this is a great question, I have made a lot of decisions that haunt me, but when it comes to men they are always the worst. Generally I would say that I know very early into the relationship that the person isn’t right for me and I make it work anyway and it ends, causing more grief than I would have had if I didn’t prolong it . . .The idea that I have done this haunts me! 😉

  3. Cricket, it’s hard to feel trapped in a relationship. I hope this doesn’t haunt you today anymore.

    DDTD, love can surely help us to take the wrong decision. But it depends on the love 🙂

  4. Stardust says:

    Great question! Although I am not good at this, probably the best thing to do is to not dwell on the past too much for if we start to analyse things we have said or done we can find many instances that would cause us regret. Having said that, if there is something that can be done about a “wrong” decision in the immediate aftermath then surely, for the sake of love, the best thing to do would be to swallow pride and try to make it right? I am no expert and I am not sure I even answered your question!

  5. Stardust, it’s better not to analyse the past in this case. But sometimes, the past is never far and there’s always something (a child for example) to remind you of your mistake.

  6. A thought-provoking question…although obviously I’d rather call it a “choice” than a “mistake”!
    I like to tell myself all the time that I just met #2 a few years too late; he DESERVES to be my son’s biological father. But #1 was [obviously] the only man who convinced me to bear his child; a true conundrum…

  7. Hi Val, of course, it’s question of point of view. Some people don’t consider their “mistake” as one, rather a choice. Thanks for stopping by.

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