broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Once I wanted to be the greatest

… But then came the rush of flood

We all have moments where we feel great, bloated or uploaded by confidence and then suddenly, it all falls apart because everything went wrong. An example? I had once to present a conference and it was a true catastrophe. I was expecting an audience of 20 people as the organizers told me, and instead, there were 140 people attending the conference. As soon as I started to speak and looked very rapidly at the crowd, I felt I was loosing it and panicked. I just tried to achieve my presentation, but it was really unclear and boring.

In love too, you can experiment the same sensation. This roller coaster happens a lot during the first dates with the object of our affection, because this is the key moment that determines if your relationship will last or not. “I had a date with a guy absolutely charming I met in a bar, and the D-Day, I felt a little bit floating, until the date started. I just said stupidities all the time as I was impressed by the moment, even if it never happened to me before. He looked at me with pity in his eyes, and never called me back afterwards” G., 35, said.  “It looked very promising. We spent a wonderful evening together, until we switched to the bedroom, and there, I lost completely the situation. I felt paralyzed and can’t do anything. As I couldn’t relax, I couldn’t feel anything, even if he tried his best, but in the end,  I just simulated everything, and  I felt so ashamed I didn’t want to see him again” P.,32, said.

This can happen because we put too much hopes in a situation where we don’t have necessarily all the elements in hand. Of course, the best way to avoid this happening is to feel cool and don’t have much expectations about the future events. But it’s easier said than done. Besides, some people have a curious ability to put too much pressure on their shoulders.

So, have you ever felt disappointed by a date where you had great expectations but didn’t turn exactly like you were planning?


5 thoughts on “Once I wanted to be the greatest

  1. dontdatethatdude says:

    It wasn’t a date it was a phone call where we arranged a date. I suppose I talked too long with him or something because he made arrangements with me and then never called again. I figured I must have said something wrong, but by the way he was talking and acting I never knew it.

  2. Just this week, I had a date that I put an end to early. He’s a nice man, but I think he’s a workaholic and I have concluded he is boring, rarely making me laugh. He’s not good at lively conversation, so he depended on me for it. Several times on our two dates, the conversation would settle and an instant later, not even long enough for things to continue on a natural course, he’d say, “And what else?” I felt like I was on a stage tap dancing, having to pull all the conversational weight and extract his dry comments from him. No wonder I called off the date early. I was tired from all that weight.

  3. DDTD, we never know what can irritate some people in advance, except maybe the obvious like criticizing openly the opposite sex or religion/politics/food/whatever.

    Cricket,discovering the other is boring is disappointing, isn’t it?

  4. The Last Spartan says:

    modobs, I will say that my worst date experiences are two:

    My first date in college (an older woman by 3 years). I had arranged to meet her at her apartment and go out to a movie. I arrived at 7 to find that she’d been playing drinking games since 3 o’clock with her roommate, the guy from the next building and his cousin who was a male stripper. I never got to see her. I only got to hear her puke through the door.

    The second instance was a fairly attractive woman (who I later found out was only dating men going to medical school or law school) who was fifteen minutes into the date when she asked me to take her home because she wasn’t feeling well. I went home and my roommate and I went to a friends party only to find her there with some friends.

    Both disappointing. Both with fairly high expectations.

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