celibacy, life, love, men, miscellaneous, relationships, thoughts, women

This charming man

Jean-Paul Sartre
It’s difficult to believe that this man above was a ladykiller, but he was. He was ugly, his teeth were rotten, he lost all the sight of his right eye and couldn’t care less about his look. Yet he had a magnetic power on women, who were seduced by his intelligence and charisma. In this article from the New Yorker, a short dialogue between him and Simone de Beauvoir showed he could not fall in love with an ugly woman, that he looked for charm and beauty in his mistresses, a quest for the irrational.

When I see today odd couples where the woman is a true beauty while the man, well, to my eyes, is purely repelling (example: Joe Pesci and Angie Everhart), I just think that when it comes to beauty and seduction, we don’t play in the same field between the opposite sexes. Maybe it’ s because we don’t look for the same thing in the opposite sex. Many women I know told me they managed to see over the apparent ugliness of their future partner, while for the men I know, this is more an exception. “I accepted a dinner with a man I met in a bar but I had no intention to go further with him because he didn’t appeal to me at first sight. However, as the dinner went by, I really got seduced by his wit, his humor, his sensibility and his ability to look after me. He was absolutely charming, the kind of guy I wished for. He won me over” H., 35, said. This is an example, but there are tons of others from a female perspective. When I ask women if they would date a man who’s really ugly (not an average-looking guy you think not appealing), most of them told me that it depends on different factors. “If hes stupid, a loser, selfish, with no humor and boring, my answer would be no. But if he has the qualities I look for in a man, I think I could change my mind”D., 34, said. “I don’t really care about how he looks as long as he’s not shorter than me, and doesn’t weigh two tons. What matters me the most is what he really is from the inside” K., 32, said.”It depends on how ugly he is. I have limits I won’t cross” M., 31, said.

If a man’s famous, rich, or has charisma, and if Mother Nature has forgotten him when he was born, he will still manage to score with women. The reverse for an ugly woman is not true. She can be rich, famous (it would be difficult for her to reach fame if she’s really ugly) and have a great charisma, she will struggle to score with men. An example? When I was in high school, there was the president of the students who was a crime against beauty, yet, he had an important turnover of girls back then. The vice-president, a true nottie, remained on the other hand single throughout all her high school years.

Maybe I’m wrong. So tell me, could you date a really ugly man? And for the men reading this, could you date a nottie?


4 thoughts on “This charming man

  1. dontdatethatdude says:

    I have dated and “fallen in love” with men who were not attractive to me at first, but they were average looking, not ugly. I would not be able to get past a first date with someone that I found to be really ugly or just gross. That happened to me with a very nice well-off man, but I could not get past his physical appearance, ie I could never have sex with him a real relationship must have.

  2. WIGSF, hum, you haven’t met our office nottie…

    Shefali, haha!

    DDTD, indeed, if you can’t feel attracted to him, sex could be a real disaster.

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