My mom always told me when I was little and sensitive to the others’ comments about me not to care about what they say. “The most important thing you should consider is what you think, not what others think about you” she said. As one of my friends is struggling right now to make her family accept the man of her life, I just remember about what my mom said. My friend has found happiness with a guy who’s not from the same religion as her and also much older than her (but not as old as her dad). I’m happy for her, yet I know that most of her entourage isn’t exactly thrilled by this. She’s on the verge of cutting all contacts with them because she’s tired of their opposition to this union, and I don’t know if that’s a good solution.
Of course, you shouldn’t care much about what people say about you, but when it’s your friends and family against it, is it worth ignoring what they say just because you love someone who’s not suitable for them? Remember that love can make us blind, and that we can easily fall for the wrong guy. Maybe our entourage can see the obvious we can’t see. Maybe they could be totally wrong about the guy.
When should you listen to your entourage and when should you not? Well, first, it depends on which exclusion criteria your entourage based his decision on your lover. Sometimes, you’ll be surprised to know the real motivation behind their opposition. “My best friend hated my ex and always told me he wasn’t right for me because we were completely opposite. But I didn’t agree with her at all, and didn’t understand why she said that, because I got along really well with my ex. When we broke up because we reached the end of our story, my ex told me she did try to make a move with him. She was jealous of me”F., 35, said. “My mom didn’t like my ex who was twenty years older than me because of that. She told me she found our couple just ridiculous and that I should date guys of my age. But I don’t like guys of my age, I just think they’re immature in general and we get along like cats and dogs. My mom is divorced and I haven’t known her any man in her life since she split with my dad. My ex had once to travel with her to join me abroad, and he told me that during the trip, she was a true sweetheart with him and tried to seduce him”G., 36, said.
Sometimes, their opposition can be just ridiculous. “My family didn’t like my ex because he was a fan of a rival football club” D., 31, said. “My friends think my man sucks because he works for a controversial politician” T., 30, said.
But sometimes, their opposition can be trusted. It’s legitimate for your family to worry if you’re dating an ex-convict (for murdering/rape/violence, not for just stealing or little stupid crimes), a junkie, a married man or a fanatic (if you’re not a fanatic yourself). They can also be right about your lover because he’s a total loser who’s cheating on you and you’re the last to know about it.
So, have you ever listened to your family/friend’s advices regarding your lover? And have you ever bypassed their advice?