broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

I don’t want to know


My mom always told me when I was little and sensitive to the others’ comments about me not to care about what they say. “The most important thing you should consider is what you think, not what others think about you” she said. As one of my friends is struggling right now to make her family accept the man of her life, I just remember about what my mom said. My friend has found happiness with a guy who’s not from the same religion as her and also much older than her (but not as old as her dad). I’m happy for her, yet I know that most of her entourage isn’t exactly thrilled by this. She’s on the verge  of  cutting all contacts with them because she’s tired of their opposition to this union, and I don’t know if that’s a good solution.

Of course, you shouldn’t care much about what people say about you, but when it’s your friends and family against it, is it worth ignoring  what they say just because you love someone who’s not suitable for them?  Remember that love can make us blind, and that we can easily fall for the wrong guy. Maybe our entourage can see the obvious we can’t see. Maybe they could be totally wrong about the guy.

When should you listen to your entourage and when should you not?  Well, first, it depends on which exclusion criteria your entourage based his decision on your lover. Sometimes, you’ll be surprised to know the real motivation behind their opposition. “My best friend hated my ex and always told me he wasn’t right for me because we were completely opposite. But I didn’t agree with her at all, and didn’t understand why she said that, because I got along really well with my ex. When we broke up because we reached the end of our story, my ex told me she did try to make a move with him. She was jealous of me”F., 35, said. “My mom didn’t like my ex who was twenty years older than me because of that. She told me she found our couple just ridiculous and that I should date guys of my age. But I don’t like guys of my age, I just think they’re immature in general and we get along like cats and dogs. My mom is divorced and I haven’t known her any man in her life since she split with my dad. My ex had once to travel with her to join me abroad, and he told me that during the trip, she was a true sweetheart with him and tried to seduce him”G., 36, said.

Sometimes, their opposition can be just ridiculous. “My family didn’t like my ex because he was a fan of a rival football club” D., 31, said. “My friends think my man sucks because he works for a controversial politician” T., 30, said.

But sometimes, their opposition can be trusted. It’s legitimate for your family to worry if you’re dating an ex-convict (for murdering/rape/violence, not for just stealing or little stupid crimes), a junkie, a married man or a fanatic (if you’re not a fanatic yourself).  They can also be right about your lover because he’s a total loser who’s cheating on you and you’re the last to know about it.

So, have you ever listened to your family/friend’s advices regarding your lover? And have you ever bypassed their advice?

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7 thoughts on “I don’t want to know

  1. I am often advised not to pamper my lover since they tend to take it for granted after a while. I’m still trying not to pamper mine.

  2. dontdatethatdude says:

    In the past I have not listened, but in the future I will. I must admit that I will have my friends meet each guy if I think something is becoming serious and I will ask their opinion, but in the past this hasn’t worked because they liked those losers too, ugh! 😉

  3. WishBone, is it really bad to pamper your man?

    DDTD, if your friends aren’t good advices, then you shouldn’t listen to them 😀

  4. Maddy says:

    I didn’t listen and I proceeded to get so wrapped up in the relationship that I lost contact with most of my friends and grew a little distant from my family; I was so much into what we were that I forgot everything I was before he came along.

    So moral of the story: I think it’s more about listening to yourself and your own intuition than listening to others. Obviously you need to take your friends and families thoughts and feelings into consideration, but the most important thing is maintaining your own identity, so if it doesn’t work out you still have yourself and the love of others.

    mmyeah. that’s just my opinion though 🙂

  5. Hi Maddy,

    You’re right about following your intuition, but you shouldn’t lose yourself in a relationship to a point where you cut contacts with your family and friends. There’s a balance to find in all this.

    Thanks for your opinion.

  6. Well, it’s hard not to care what people say. If we completely didn’t care, why leave a comment field at our blog? Then again, that’s why the “moderate” button is there… (grin).

    Scott

  7. Hi, AspireNow

    Indeed, it’s hard not to care about what people say. But it depends on the person. And you’re right about the comment thing 🙂

    Thanks for stopping by.

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