celibacy, life, love, men, miscellaneous, relationships, thoughts, women

Flirting with disaster

Awwwww, flirting. Some of us yield to this guilty pleasure because it gives them the impression they still have their power of seduction. It’s dangerous though when you’re already in a relationship because it just traces the path towards infidelity. However, some people flirt as if it was a sport, and don’t think they are doing anything wrong.

One of my friends came with a little problem she encountered recently with a man. Her problem is that she can’t tell whether she’s flirting or not with the person. “I went to a seminar abroad, and I met this man who just followed me everywhere I went during the two days I was there. He was charming, always asking questions about me and relating my experiences with his. One of my colleagues pretended he was my man the last day of the seminar, and he just disappeared, telling me he was really pleased to meet someone like me, and that I should take care. Do you think he was flirting with me?” she asked. Of course, he was. Generally, when a man or a woman asks a lot of personal questions about you, it means that they are interested in you.

This is easy. But once, another friend of mine came with this issue. “I was invited for dinner by one of my professional contacts. We never met before in real life, I had only sporadic contacts with him until that dinner, and it always remained professional. And the dinner, well, it was a bit weird. I really couldn’t tell if he was just trying to be nice with me, or if he was flirting with me. At the beginning, we talked strictly about business, but as the dinner went on, we began to switch to more personal subjects. He’s married, but we didn’t talk at all about his family, instead, we talked mainly about my career and about my personal skills, professionally speaking, mind you. He talked a little bit about his brothers, his youth, his grandma. Since then, he has become more friendly with me, but we still exchange very polite words. Do you think he was flirting with me, or it’s just the product of my imagination?” she asked. Ha, I can’t tell that just by what she described.

But a few days ago, she told me she noticed this about him.”He doesn’t use the same tone when he’s talking to me compared to his collaborators and his clients. He’s very fatherly with everyone, but with me, I have the impression to face a little kid that has been taken at fault. He’s looking at me from head to toe, but he doesn’t blush at all. When we exchange emails, generally, he has to make tons of compliments about my work. I don’t know on which foot to stand with him” she admits.

Maybe he is flirting with her. She’s really beautiful, and she doesn’t leave men insensitive to her charms in general.

So, how do you know someone’s flirting with you? And how do you flirt?


5 thoughts on “Flirting with disaster

  1. whatigotsofar says:

    I hate when women flirt with me with no intentions of taking it further. Don’t rev the engine if you don’t want to take the car for a spin. That’s what I say.

    I flirt by taking off my pants, ringing a bell and yelling “Come and get it!”

  2. The Last Spartan says:

    I think that knowing if someone is flirting with you is admittedly difficult. It should go without saying though that if you aren’t looking for it from that person…then it shouldn’t really matter if you can tell or not.

    That said, I think that some clues that it is flirtation would be:

    1)Is it out of their way? I think that in most people’s busy lives, they really don’t have excess amounts of time or effort to go out of their way to compliment, charm or otherwise detain someone that they’re interested in.

    2)Is the boundary moving? Are the compliments getting more personal? Are personal details being exchanged?

    3)The body language. This is the hardest part to read. A lot of invasion of personal space (including touching the arm, shoulder, butt, etc) should be considered more than just complimentary.

  3. dontdatethatdude says:

    I can never tell if someone is flirting with me, but I can always tell when someone is being flirted too. The most obvious display I recall was when my X and I were at a restaurant and the waitress pulled a chair up so close to him she might as well have sat in his lap and the she asked him if he and I were married. This went on for most of the night. I don’t flirt well myself unless I think about it and I like to be spontaneous, so it’s difficult.

  4. WIGSF, the women who do this only cry for recognition, it’s sad for them, but yeah, it sucks. And haha for the pants off!

    Cricket, it is sad if you need to flirt to prove to yourself you still can seduce.

    LS, it’s difficult to know if someone’s flirting with you, but it depends on how ambiguous is the person. I agree with your list, and indeed, the body language can be the hardest part to read. That is said, when people look into you eyes and hold their attention, it’s a good sign.

    DDTD, I think I would have tore the waitress’s hair if I was into your past situation. How dared she?

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