celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, sex, thoughts, women

Take a look at me now


This news leaves me a bit skeptical. Can we really tell if the person standing in front of us is the One we will spend our life with, or just a one-night stand? I’m not sure about it. When I met the light of my life for the first time, I couldn’t tell if our relationship would last or not. But I’m not the kind of person who foresees her future, I just take life as it comes. Besides, if it was that easy, why are there such a high rate of divorces?

When I asked this question around me, my friends replied that it’s difficult, and few of them told me they had it right or not with the men they were dating. “When I was with F., I really believed we would get married someday and have children. But this belief didn’t come immediately into my mind when we started dating. This scientific research is BS to me” explained one of my friends. “I really couldn’t tell. M. is one of the very few men I’ve dated in my life and I’ve known him since high school. At that time, how would I know? Every single girl in my class were too busy collecting boys, it wasn’t a worry for me. I just appreciated his company. Period” explained another one.

Maybe this theory is difficult to validate for love, but when it comes to sex, I believe it’s easier to spot a one-night stand. “I pretty much know when a man is just interested in having sex with me. It’s in his eyes and the way he acts. And it happened always in the same place: the club” said one of my friends. “It’s easier. If a man is horny the first time you met him, then for sure, it won’t last with him” said another one.

Besides, there’s a distinction to make between finding love and finding the one that will last until you die. We can easily get fooled by our emotions, especially women. And it’s not because you think that you have found the one that the one thinks the same about you, unfortunately.

So, can you make a distinction straight away, just by looking at the person, if he/she’s the one you’ve been looking for or just a one-night stand?

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5 thoughts on “Take a look at me now

  1. Heck, it takes me a month of going out with someone before I can decide if I want to date him. It is a much longer process for me than first impressions. Attraction and chemistry develop (or doesn’t) over time. I also don’t believe in fate, so I feel more control over this process.

  2. dontdatethatdude says:

    I have to say NO you cannot decide right away if a person is “the one”, maybe in fairy tales of movies it happens this way, but a life long relationship requires that you get to know, trust, love and understand each other. This cannot happen immediately. A one night stand can though, so if you sleep with him right away you increase the chances that it will be a one night thing or a very short lived, incompatible match!

  3. Cricket, it’s difficult to know about someone right away, unless you’re a medium.

    DDTD, indeed, this cannot happen immediately if you’re looking for a life long relationship.

  4. I never looked for a one-night-relationship. If I met a guy, I was always looking for a long lasting relationship. And no, you can never know at the first time when you see him if he is the right one. I believe, that you have to know him properly. To know his moods and habits. For me is a relationship about finding the balance between two people. You have to understand and, most of all, respect each other. And If you do not understand each other, the best is to separate. Nobody is perfect and some mistakes you can, and some you cant tolerate. I think, that a relationship is hard work, but it is worth it.

  5. Hi Susan,
    Thanks for sharing your view on this topic. Indeed, we do have to know each other properly to make a relationship work.

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