I bumped into an old friend of mine recently. We went to College together, and at that time, he was dating a much older woman than him. He was 20, she was 40. “Women of my age don’t attract me, I’ve got the impression to be with whining babies, while older women represent the real woman to my eyes” he said back then. Now, he’s still dating a woman who’s 15 years older than him, faithful to his idea.
He told me that this kind of relationship has one huge problem: its social recognition. “I don’t really care what people can say about us, but what is hurting me the most is the fact that my family doesn’t really accept it, especially my mother, who takes the culprit of being a bad mother because of my choice” he said.
This reminds me of my old director. She came once in our office devastated because her son decided to move in with the woman of his life. The problem was that this woman wasn’t exactly what my boss had hoped for her son. “He met her in his school, she was the one who was serving the dishes at their restaurant. She’s old, she’s fat, she’s gross, she’s simply eeewwwww. On top of that, she has already a kid with a convict. What was he thinking?” she said. She told me her daughter and everyone else in the school called her the grumpy whale, because she wasn’t exactly kind with the students. She made obviously an exception for my director’s son. He told her mom she was the one, and that she’d better not interfere in his decision. I wonder if he’s still living with her now…
This is a special example, but in my friend’s case, the woman he’s dating has nothing to do with a grumpy whale. The problem is just the age difference. He explained he got a lot of remarks about their relationship coming from his relatives, that goes something like this: “She’s too old to give you a baby”, “You don’t come from the same generation, how can you understand each other? “, “You’re at the beginning of your life, she’s already experienced tons of experience you need to discover by yourself”, “She looks like your mom, when you’re together, it’s just ridiculous”. And he told me that his partner also gets a lot of biased questions/advices about it, like for example”He will leave you for a younger one” or “He’s just a baby, you can only mother him”.
Age difference in a relationship shouldn’t be a problem if both of you share a lot of common points, the same goals in life, and a true understanding of each other. This is what my friend believes, and he’s right. If both of you are on the same wavelength, then age ain’t nothing but a number. Another friend of mine, who’s 30, is dating a 50-year old designer right now, and she said that of course, you have to share a lot of common points, but it’s better if you’re sexually compatible too.
So, would you date someone younger than you?