Some people can reflect a bad image of you, others would on the other hand reflect a good image of yourself. I went once to lunch with a true douchebag for my work, and the conversation was a bit strange. This guy kept on asking me questions about my skills, abilities, hobbies,… I had the impression to apply for a job again, you know, when each answer you give is carefully examined and immediately interpreted. You know that if you reply this, it would mean that you’re this and not that. And in the end, the examiner gave you your psychological profile. This is how the light of my life learned he was an “autocrat” (we still laugh about that now). Here, the lunch left me with a bad taste in my mouth. He gave me the impression I was uncultured, lazy, a big party girl, and meaningless. But he also gave me the impression he was a sinister person who doesn’t live his life but just work, work, work, a true misogynist, and the most boring person on this planet.
This is an example on how the other can send back a bad image to you. The opposite situation happens too. One of my former colleagues once confided to me he often watched TV Shows like the Jerry Springer’s show or something like that just to realise he was normal and that there were some wackos out there. A former classmate used to carefully select the people she was seeing and once told me she could not be friends with one girl of our school who was a little bit overweight just because “she couldn’ t tolerate being seen talking to her”. Generally, people who just surround themselves with people who serve as a mirror to themselves are just narcissistic and will seek for a partner that reflect a good image of them.
However, it’s better to look for a partner that will reflect a good image of you than the opposite. In the book “Eat, pray, love” (Thanks, DDTD, for mentioning this one on your blog!), Elizabeth Gilbert relates the theory of Richard from Texas about soul mates. He said that a soul mate reveals the inner you, and gives you the keys to search beyond yourself, but couldn’t stay with you on the long-run. I don’t know if it’s true, I don’t believe in soul mates.
Besides, reflecting a good image of you can also mean that you can give the best of you. One of my friends once told me the most flattering thing I’ve ever heard in my life: “with the rest of my friends, you are the one that makes me a better person, in the sense that I do want to cultivate myself, be nice with others, and more in peace with myself, and I thank you for that“. In love too, this dynamic also works. It’s better if your partner can bring the best out of you.
So, do you look for people who will bring the best out of you in your relationships?