life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, Uncategorized, women

The best of you


Some people can reflect a bad image of you, others would on the other hand reflect a good image of yourself. I went once to lunch with a true douchebag for my work, and the conversation was a bit strange. This guy kept on asking me questions about my skills, abilities, hobbies,… I had the impression to apply for a job again, you know, when each answer you give is carefully examined and immediately interpreted. You know that if you reply this, it would mean that you’re this and not that. And in the end, the examiner gave you your psychological profile. This is how the light of my life learned he was an “autocrat” (we still laugh about that now). Here, the lunch left me with a bad taste in my mouth. He gave me the impression I was uncultured, lazy, a big party girl, and meaningless. But he also gave me the impression he was a sinister person who doesn’t live his life but just work, work, work, a true misogynist, and the most boring person on this planet.

This is an example on how the other can send  back a bad image to you. The opposite situation happens too. One of my former colleagues once confided to me he often watched TV Shows like the Jerry Springer’s show or something like that just to realise he was normal and that there were some wackos out there. A former classmate used to carefully select the people she was seeing and once told me she could not be friends with one girl of our school who was a little bit overweight just because “she couldn’ t tolerate being seen talking to her”. Generally, people who just surround themselves with people who serve as a mirror to themselves are just narcissistic and will seek for a partner that reflect a good image of them.

However, it’s better to look for a partner that will reflect a good image of you than the opposite. In the book “Eat, pray, love” (Thanks, DDTD, for mentioning this one on your blog!), Elizabeth Gilbert relates the theory of Richard from Texas about soul mates. He said that a soul mate reveals the inner you, and gives you the keys to search beyond yourself, but couldn’t stay with you on the long-run. I don’t know if it’s true, I don’t believe in soul mates.

Besides, reflecting a good image of you can also mean that you can give the best of you. One of my friends once told me the most flattering thing I’ve ever heard in my life: “with the rest of my friends, you are the one that makes me a better person, in the sense that I do want to cultivate myself, be nice with others, and more in peace with myself, and I thank you for that“. In love too, this dynamic also works. It’s better if your partner can bring the best out of you.

So, do you look for people who will bring the best out of you in your relationships?

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7 thoughts on “The best of you

  1. dontdatethatdude says:

    Thanks for the honorable mention! I loved that book. See what I thought, was the “soul-mate” which I don’t believe in either was a reflection of you and often what you saw that was undesirable in them could also be something you didn’t like about yourself and vice versa and they also help you to grow and see yourself clearly. Friends can also do this very well although sometimes friends won’t help you see what you have to improve and only let you see your better qualities. I choose both types in my life, but I prefer people who let me see the good in myself, I Haven’t always done that but am now!

  2. The Last Spartan says:

    I think that ultimately, we should all aspire to surround ourselves with as many of the people who bring out the best in us as possible. Conversely, I think that people generally do a poor job (myself included) of excluding people from our lives that bring out the worst in us or bring us down.

  3. DDTD, you’re welcome. I also love that book. Indeed, friends can only let you see the better side of you. But real friends won’t hesitate to tell you if you’re wrong when it’s the case. I do like honesty, even if it’s hurtful, when it comes from the people you love. Well, I hope you will surround yourself with people who bring the best out of you!

    LS, that’s an ultimate aim, but you’re right, it’s difficult to find such people, while for a reason, we can’t get rid of those who bring us down.

  4. LuLi says:

    I’ve met a lot of people who made me want to behave, be more honest, keep my morals and be a better person.. but they are rare. A person like that has to be genuinely altruistic, and these days they’re hard to find.
    On soul mates, I believe in them. I was told once that before we are born we are with our soul mate, and when we reach earth we are separated. We are put so far apart that only the rarest and luckiest of people find them, even though they may not be in the form of our lover. They can be someone much older and wiser, or as young as a child that we just connect with perfectly.
    I guess it just comes down to believing if things happen for a reason or not.. and which option makes the world happier for you.

  5. Hi LuLi,

    You’re right, people who make you a better person are hard to find, but you can find them. And make everything possible to keep them!
    Maybe there is a person on this planet that connects with you perfectly, and you have reason, they may not appear as your lover.
    I do believe things happen for a reason.

    Thanks for your opinion!

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