Last week, I had a strange emails exchange with one of my contacts about an article I was writing for my newspaper and it infuriated me to the point I had to leave and cry in the bathroom for a moment. I was mad after myself because I didn’t have the guts to tell him frankly he was getting on my nerves and that he should stop harassing me. Instead, blurred by anger, I just forwarded the emails to my boss. The next day, I received an email from my contact’s secretary telling me my article was great and thanked me for that. I just understood that day I lost for good this contact. His secretary has never called me or sent me an email to do so since I know her (it’s been 4 years now).
This is an example on how we can ruin something just because we couldn’t keep our calm. Getting angry happens to most of us, I know very few people who can remain impassive in every situation. And in those moments, we often say/do things we regret immediately after because we knew we went too far or just acted the wrong way. And this can take a dramatic turn if we do so with our partner.
I asked around me how people can ruin a relationship stupidly, and this is what I got for answers.
“During a fight, I told him he was a loser and that he would never succeed in what he did because he was talentless. I also told him I was ashamed of him. The next day, he walked out of my life, telling me I was just a cold-hearted bitch” , I., 30, said.
“I cheated on him because I thought he was unfaithful. Not only he discovered everything, but he had been faithful during the two years we spent together. So he dumped me”,H., 34, said.
“I insulted his family during a dinner where his aunt played a little bit with my nerves, saying I was getting too old to have a child and that I should quit my job because it wasn’t suitable for a woman. Yes, I know, I should have just left the room and say anything, but I can’t keep my mouth shut, especially when I feel attacked. I didn’t want to apologize afterwards, and preferred to stop the relationship” J., 35, said.
“We got into another argument about his invading mates, and he infuriated me to a point where I threw a glass on him. He got badly hit by that and fell on to the ground where he cut himself with the broken glass. He was so mad that he left the apartment, and the next day, he took the opportunity I was working to clear all his belongings. He just left a letter saying I was a bitch and that he never wanted to see me again” P., 32, said.
Of course, it depends also on how the other reacts to our anger. When it’s someone you really love, you just wait for the thunder to disappear. But when it’s not the case, there are aftermaths.
So, have you ever got mad to a point you can’t control yourself anymore? And have you ever lost your temper with the one you love(d)?