life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Men at work

Once, I had a conversation with one of my best friends about the men we wouldn’t date at all. And she pointed out an important point: she couldn’t date a man whose job is simply too controversial or against her principles. An example? “I could never date a politician because I don’t care about politics at all, and I have no respect for politicians. I could not date a dealer, a man who sells weapons, one whose job consists in swindling the others. Also, I have a hard time with cops” she said.

Her choices are quite restrictive, but I can understand her. We all want someone we can respect, and if he/she already disappoints us with his/her job, the relationship may be ill-fated. Another friend of mine doesn’t necessarily agree with this. “Of course, I wouldn’t want to date a crook or a dealer. If he’s condemned, you can get condemned too as his accomplice, and that’s a situation I don’t want to live. But for the rest, what he does to earn his life doesn’t interest me that much. If he’s happy with his job, why would I ask him to change? Besides, there’s a clear line between the professional life and the private life. I don’t believe these two ever cross” she said.

Another one said she cares about his profession if it takes him all his time. “I was married for three years with an analyst who was barely there during the week and spent all his week-ends working. I felt completely secondary feels, and that’s why I asked for a divorce” she said. So, in  her no-no list would fall the doctors, CEOs, firemen, cops,… every job that is time consuming in fact. She could add in her list the journalists. Just in my newsroom, one of my colleagues managed last year to be for seven months away from home, traveling the world for his press trips. And also sailors and military men.

Dealing with a man whose job is very demanding isn’t easy. As one of my contacts said delicately about his wife: “If she’s not happy with my job, then I will change for another woman“. How nice.  Personally, I don’t mind if he’s working more than 12 hours a day, as long as he thinks about me and has from time to time some special attentions for me.

On the other hand, if he’s not working at all, while the woman is working, some women find it hard to maintain him financially. 

So, is there any profession that is a turn off for you?



8 thoughts on “Men at work

  1. dontdatethatdude says:

    Well, I am not into cops or military men, and for me, I at this time, think that any man who is away for 7 months out of the year would cheat and I couldn’t leave with that wondering. What I would like is a man who loves his job and doesn’t come home complaining night after night, like my X, who did nothing but whine, big turn-off. I am cool with working late, if that is what he is really doing and dedication to his work, but I would like to have one day/night per week devoted to us. 😉

  2. DDTD, oh yeah, there’s nothing worse than a man who always complains about his job. For the dedication, you’re right 🙂

  3. * Politicians- they are all sleazy, I do NOT want to be a politician’s wife.
    * Military men- boy, would I not fit in with that culture.
    * Dentists- bad teeth run in my family, I couldn’t take the constant guilt I’d get

  4. I was married to the military man who was a workaholic. I think I hated the workaholic part more than the military, although the way he played it, it robbed me of a lot of patriotism.

    I couldn’t be with a lawyer, too sleezy a profession. Nor could I be with anyone in law enforcement – too paranoid.

    I don’t think I could be with a chef or baker; my waist could not stand the pampering.

  5. Modobs,
    I guess yours is one of the most interesting blogs I am reading. In India, we don’t really date that much except in the Metro cities. But I would say that for those of us who are dating/have dated, I would date if I was interested in having a relationship with the man. One night stands with only past lovers and then I do not want to waste time knowing about his work. I like real WORK at such meetings!
    In case of the former, I would give more weitage to his, emotional and spiritual quotient than to his profession really, although I won’t date a man without an inteesting mind either.
    Samasti 🙂

  6. Jennifer, a dentist also carries a bad image with him (the torturer).

    Cricket, a chef is indeed a threat to your silhouette. But it depends in what speciality he’s into, if he’s into veggies, it won’t have the same effect than if he’s into pastries.

    Samasti, thank you. Indeed, the emotional and spiritual quotient is more important than his work.

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