broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, wacky, women

Into the groove

How do you like to be courted? And do you like to be courted? Every woman likes to be courted before yielding to the advance of their pretender. And some men like it too. Unfortunately, I’ve noticed that there is often a misinterpretation of courting, and that for some people, courting doesn’t come naturally. When they try to flirt with someone, they basically think that it all boils down to being nice and paying the bill at the restaurant, and the rest will follow. Usually, they’re always the first to be surprised it didn’t work with their prey, and some of them turn bitter, starting to bash on their object of desire.

An example? One of my friends told me about her recent experience with one of her pretenders. “He invited me to the restaurant, but it was officially for a business lunch. I realised later that he had his habits in another restaurant in town, but chose this one where no one could see him. Then, the conversation with him was a bit weird. He started to criticize my studies, saying I should resume it. He also asked me a lot of questions about my education and my linguistic skills. Then, he talked about him and all of his problems. I did laugh to be polite to his jokes, and tried to remain selfless with him during the whole lunch. I didn’t expect him to repeat this disastrous “date” afterwards. But just after the lunch, he sent me an email saying he was delighted to meet me and that we should have another lunch together. He started to send me sporadic emails saying basically nothing, and I just replied politely. I had other things in my mind at that time. My mom just entered a treatment for her cancer. I had to meet him again two weeks after our lunch strictly for business, and there, he just gave me the cold shoulder. Same scenario two weeks later, where, among a bunch of other people, he completely ignored me. Since then, he didn’t send me any email, and I’ve heard him talking shit behind my back. I feel a little broken hearted by this, but I don’t know if the situation was different with my mom, how it would have been” she said.

I said to her that if he didn’t have any patience with her, he’s simply not worth it at all. She told me that she also discovered thanks to facebook he was trying to make his move on another woman, which we all know as a slut. Obviously, he was just looking for a bang.

So, if this asshole man was trying to lure my friend, he did it the wrong way. First, when you want to have sex with someone, you don’t try to play it soft. And if you want more than sex, you’ve got to invest yourself a little more. This is what I think.

What would you like to be told when you’re on a date? And what would you hate to hear?



4 thoughts on “Into the groove

  1. whatigotsofar says:

    I would like to be told the truth. No dicking around, no trying to let me down gently without hurting my feelings. Just be honest. If my pain is a concern to her, then her lies hurt the most.

  2. dontdatethatdude says:

    I don’t know about this because it depends on how I feel about the other person. The truth would be nice, but for some people even the truth is a lie. For me I would like to know about them what they like etc and I would like them to be interested in what I like too. I wouldn’t want to be insulted on a date or find as I did with one date the he was on a website for people pursuing a 3-some…LOL, that was actually funny and his candor stepped me back a bit, but I knew if he was actively pursuing 3-way sex that he was not the guy for me so I felt like I wasted a lot of time.

  3. They say not to talk of exes on a first date, but it always happens. Guess it helps to determine a second date. I’m not great at declining the second date, but the truth helps. Recently had to decline on a first date due to his kids not approving of his dating. BTDT. What I found with that, though, was that he wanted to skip straight to the date from email conversations. If he had invested in some phone time, maybe I would have been better reassured.

    I do want to be wooed. I think that Love Languages guy has it right. Certain ways speak to you better than others.

  4. WIGSF, I also appreciate people who dare to tell you the truth. But it’s sometimes harder to stomach than a little lie.

    DDTD, it’s amazing what we can discover about the others. It’s a matter of trust, really, and it’s hard to trust someone these days…

    Cricket, indeed, certain ways speak to you better than others.

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