life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

This modern love

When I see the high rate of divorces nowadays compared to the generation of our grandparents, I can’t help wondering if our modern society makes us unable to pick the right partner to us.  Before, if you were a woman, you couldn’t choose any man to marry you because you had to obtain your father’s blessing for your pretender. And your father would give his blessing according to some criteria like your pretender’s wealth, his ability to take care of you,… Besides, you were generally the last person consulted for your wedding, because your future husband had been carefully selected by your family.

Now, the women who still listen to their parents’s advices on love/ let their parents choose a man for them  belong to a minority. Most of us really trust our heart when it comes to getting hitched. And I’m pretty sure that if you ask parents about the choice their daughter made with their partner, their answer wouldn’t be that optimistic. I know that my parents weren’t pleased of the light of my life when they met him for the first time (my mom had the hope I would marry my ex-best friend, but she didn’t have a clue on how it badly ended with him). One of my friends told me her parents hated her ex-fiancé. “My mom hated the way he treated me. My father just thought he was good for nothing, but in fact, they had it right about him. Why didn’t I listen to them at the first place? I don’t know” she said. On the other hand, sometimes, our parents can be wrong. My parents loved my ex, who just couldn’t act differently than in a cowardly way with me. Another friend of mine told me her parents acted similarly than mine with her ex. “They didnt know he was cheating on me most of the time” she said.

I also asked around me if their parents could have chosen a man/woman they could fall in love with, and the answers were quite surprising. To the vast majority, people have replied by the negative. “I know my parents would pick a decent guy, but boring. And I love men that can entertain me, that can surprise me and make me dream”G., 34, said. “They would probably choose someone I know in my entourage or in the neighborhood, and this idea is simply not that thrilling” H., 32, said. “They probably get a sweet guy, but not a good lover, and this is a bad criteria for me”O.,30, said.

Most of us dream about a prince charming, and that’s why the idea of our parents picking a man for us doesn’t sound like music to our ear. But maybe the concept of the prince charming is precisely what drives our relationship to a failure today.

So, would you let your parents choose a partner for you?



4 thoughts on “This modern love

  1. I think both of my parents would pick someone for me like my father, which is also what I picked when I married. For many years, I was raised Republican and thought I was a Republican on my own. Of course, political slant isn’t the only issue, but it’s easiest to explain.

  2. dontdatethatdude says:

    My parents were always right about my boyfriends and I never listened. I had no logical notion of “love” My parents are both dead so couldn’t ask them now anyway!

    I was watching a movie last night called, “Broken English” about a woman, Parker Posey who can never seem to find the right guy and in one part she meets a man who tells her, “Most people marry because they don’t want to be alone, but some want magic and I think you are one of them, but magic doesn’t always happen” I am like the girl in the movie, I want magic, maybe a lot of other people do to and they keep divorcing until the find it, I don’t think they should marry until they do!

  3. Cricket, political slant isn’t the only issue, but it’s practical to explain.

    DDTD, I never heard about that movie. I’m curious about it now. And I believe magic doesn’t always happen… Why do we rebel against our parents’ advices?

    Shefali, in some countries, arranged marriages are common.

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