broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, Those little things that kill us, thoughts, Uncategorized, wacky, women

Silent lucidity


Sometimes, it’s better to keep our mouth shut. But unfortunately, everyone of us can’t do this, and that’s how we can end up in an imbroglio and hurt people. Usually, as we grow old, we learn to remain silent when we should, and speak when we should too.

Keeping it quiet has also one advantage: at least, you’re not talking shit on someone else’s back. Many many times, I told myself not to say anything bad on the others, but I can’t help it, especially if I’m stimulated by my friends or my colleagues, or if I believe I’ve been taken as a fool. And I often get badly rewarded for that, as people always manage to know what I think about them, thanks to other people who simply tell them about what I said.

This flaw can cost you a lot of trouble, including in your love life. One of my friends experienced it once when she was invited at a party in her ex’s house. She told me she was discussing with two other women and the conversation slipped on gay couples. My friend said she didn’t mind about them, except that she couldn’t understand how a woman could enjoy another woman’s pussy and how it would be boring to sleep with another woman. The problem was that the two women she was chatting with were both lesbians, and got a bit offended by what she said. On top of that, one of the two was her ex’s sister, and he was infuriated by her offense against his sister, so she got dumped for that. This is a bit harsh for my friend, but you never know how susceptible people can be.

Another friend of mine told me he completely ruined a date with a wonderful lady just because he couldn’t shut up when he should have. “We were talking about politics, and I kept on making bad jokes about Nicolas Sarkozy and his new wife. I said to her I bet they would have a baby and a miscarriage just right after their marriage, and she looked at me as if I said an horror. Three days later, I learned by one of her friends she just suffered the trauma of a miscarriage. I did try to apologize to her, but she wouldn’t listen to me” he said. I told him that this is something you never say to a woman, it’s just horrible (yes, I’m also pissed by my friend right now…).

Censorship is a cancer, but yet, you can’t tell anything to anyone. Because we are sociable human beings, we have to deal with the others’ susceptibility. And there are topics you should never mention in front of everyone.

So, have you ever said something offending non intentionally to someone you like?

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11 thoughts on “Silent lucidity

  1. I probably have, but I have blissfully put it out of my brain.

    I do remember once when I laughed at what was considered by others to be an inappropriate time. Couldn’t help it; it was humorous to me.

  2. dontdatethatdude says:

    I always say what I’m thinking, well almost always and I have been told by my daughter and by my X that I should learn how to censor myself, but fuck that! I am entitled to my opinion and as far as the lesbian conversation goes, I don’t think she said anything that bad, has this world gotten so ridiculous that we aren’t even allowed to discuss our sexual preferences in mixed company with offending someone? People are so touchy, and maybe your friend acted in bad taste and told poor jokes, but how was he supposed to know she had a miscarriage, is he psychic? Sorry about the angry tone, but this really bothers me! 🙂

  3. It could be a sign of wisdom to have strong opinions but it is not necessary to reveal your opinions.

    I did once ended up teasing a lady in a language I thought she did not knew. She was a receptionist at clinic – she put us last, of course.

    Sometimes the so-called victims overdo it. They can take it in a light vein too.

  4. whatigotsofar says:

    I’ve put my foot so far down my mouth, I’ve digested it and I’m still finding toenails in my stool. Ooops, did it again.

  5. Cricket, it’s best to put that out of your brain. And laughing at an unappropriated time, what’s the problem? It can be nervous…

    DDTD, I don’t see what is the problem with the lesbians either. But some of them don’t feel that comfortable with their sexuality and feel obliged to justify it. People can be so touchy, fuck them!!!! 🙂
    About the miscarriage, I’ve been through that also, and it is still too sensitive for me. I haven’t told my friends about it, maybe I should…

    WIGSF, no one should apologize for having an opinion. And if people are offended by it, then they can go to hell. Yes, I’m mean…

  6. Shefali, indeed, it’s not necessary to reveal your opinion all the time. But I’m not sure it’s a sign of wisdom to have strong opinions, especially if they are wrong.

  7. dontdatethatdude says:

    Modobs! I am sorry to learn of your loss. I hope you can feel safe to share it with your friends, they could be a great comfort to you . . .

  8. odessy says:

    My Mom always says: It is not what you say but how you say it. Sometimes people talk in an offensive way no matter what they say. I am both against censorship and having an unzeeped mouth.

    So my advice would be to be respective and keep quiet as much as we can. Words can inspire but they can kill too.

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